In my early teens in 1976 I was abducted, repeatedly ganged raped, traffic out, witnessed a murder whilst this paedo ring had me in the clutches. I survived when I managed to escape when an opportunistic moment arose. I knew I was going to be killed regardless hence I took the chance. Due to the extreme trauma I endured over that period my mind carefully hid away the ordeals I suffered and witnessed into a safe place in my brain to prevent a overload on my system. In doing such when I was taken to hospital for examination I collapsed. Upon waking I no longer had any recollections of any of the events I suffered. Although, the hospital reports indicated sexual assault with contusions, scratches all over my body etc., All I did feel was a strange sensation of fear left behind.. a feeling similar to being slightly made woozy for a few weeks.. Fortunately, for the brains capacity to protect us in such away from the catastrophic effects such immense traumas can have upon the person, I was able to go back to normal living without having to deal with my ordeals until my mind decided that I was able to deal with it. My family was just happy that I was back safe and alive. I did undergo psychiatric assistance for a few months.
It was years later in my late 30's when something triggered my recall.. Just the same as when you hear a song and you can recall exactly what you did on that day and all the memories flood back.. So my late 30's till my mid 40's various triggers brought immediate flashbacks. It is extremely difficult to endure the trauma and the confusion of your own mind. Self doubt comes gushing in whether you are losing your mind. I sought the help of a local rape counselling centre and when they explained how the mind compartmentalises like draws in a cabinet to protect us. I then began to work through my recovery.