Wow, what a ride you have had. I hope ypu get some momentum and recover faster than you have been to date. In saying that don't discount how far you have come. Being sick sucks but the too shall pass. I spent three years in and out of hospitals on my death bed more than once. I survived although I now live with an ileostomy bag for life. Without it I would be dead so its now just a part of me that I'm grateful for.