Two summers ago, I went to London to visit my cousin, and while I was there I got to meet his kids for the first time. I got to interact with his eldest, Amanda, the most. After interacting with her, she helped remind me of something that is easy to forget. She reminded me to be more child-like.
I feel like as an adult, we are in this constant struggle between feeling and being numb. I’ll be first to admit that there was a time when I’ve gotten hurt so badly that I became calloused. Sometimes it hurts too much to feel. Kids on the other hand are not afraid of their feelings. They’re blissfully unaware and do whatever comes naturally to them. They’re not jaded by life’s experiences. They’re pure and they love freely without fear of embarrassment or rejection.
When you love like a child, you are free of fear. And the opposite of fear is love. And Love is connected to everything.
Courage
Amanda accompanied me to the train station and into the city. I was supposed to go to the Sky Garden with my cousin’s wife but she had to work that night. She was afraid that I’d get lost so she told Amanda to walk me to the train station. As I’m walking with her to the train station, I ask her if she was scared of getting us lost. She confidently said, “Nope, I’ve helped my mom’s friends before.” I followed her, as she made sure to look both ways before allowing me to cross the street.
I started thinking about how some of us can be afraid to leave our hotel room and explore a new area for fear of getting lost. I know I am definitely guilty of this a few times before. Then there’s this 9-year-old who was like, (with swag) “Mommy showed me before, so I GOT this.” Of course she didn’t say it like that, but she might as well have.
Honesty
While in London, I tried to pick up the British accent, especially since Amanda had one too. I asked her once how I was doing with my accent and she flat out said, “Not very good.” I laughed at her candor. Now I’m not saying that we should be blunt or not be tactful with our words, but how many times have we gotten in a bind because we couldn’t be honest to a person that deserved our honesty?
Trust
Amanda was very talkative. It was very easy for her to share with me in detail how her day went or show me what made her happy or sad. She was especially not afraid to let me know when she was hungry. I know sometimes I get ‘hangry’ because I fail to acknowledge that I am hungry. And in consequence, I get irritable with whomever I may be hanging out with. I need to trust that the person I am hanging out with will care enough to accompany me to get food and not judge me by how often I get hungry.
All joking aside, my point is, sharing things like our hopes and dreams or our hurts and fears can make us really connect with whomever we open up to. It is scary to trust someone with our deepest thoughts and it’s easy to hold a lot of these because of fear: fear of being judged, fear that the person isn’t going to like what we have to say, or fear that the person will stop loving you (or never start). But these are things we should never hold back; especially to someone we love and are supposed to love us back. People can really surprise you if you let them, but this can never happen if you don’t give them the opportunity.
Vulnerability
Many people suppress the natural flow of their feelings. Some people are even ashamed to have feelings in the first place. I’m no expert in relationships, but from my experience, I’ve noticed that a lot of arguments have started because of the inability to say simple statements children can easily express, like: “I’m scared.” “I’m sad.” or “I miss you.” I believe that if we, as adults, could learn to be a little bit more vulnerable (of course to the right people/person), we would be happier. After all, isn’t human connection all we’re longing for?
“I know vulnerability is kind of the core of shame, fear, and our struggle for worthiness, but it also appears to be the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love... To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee. To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, to be this vulnerable means that we’re alive.” -- Brené Brown
What are some things you used to do as a child that you need to bring back as an adult? Let me know! I'd love to hear from my readers :)
♥ love & aloha
Sharmaine
read my intro here
