Sometimes even the smallest of incidents has the power to change our perspective if we reflect on it without being emotionally reactive and try to learn our lessons. The other day during a discussion in the office,one of my colleagues made an unsavory comment and I found myself reacting emotionally. There was a nasty exchange of words. Several days after the incident,I continued to be disturbed by the exchange. As I worked towards a reconciliation with my colleague, I began to wonder why I was letting myself be hurt by such a petty event. The realization dawned that the sum total of all things is that we have only one life to live. Our time here is limited.Should we let petty things bother us? These petty things can be real emotional guzzlers. My perception of feeling hurt, and my colleague not treating me well was upsetting me. Hadn’t I done so much for him, I reasoned.
But moving to the second step in the ladder means we have to rise above the first step. Holding firmly onto the first step, actually means we are refusing to go up. Ever since I have tried to make my own rules so that I am able to rise up, above petty considerations. I think of my higher goals which are important to me. If we live our life without direction,we get stuck at different points. Goals give us a strong reason to rise above petty things. Given that there is so much we want to do with our limited time, getting caught at the lower level looks like a foolish option. Goals anchor us to what is important. So,I remind myself that given my long-term goals and aspirations and the many things that I want to do, I should not get into anything which is detrimental to my goals or takes my attention away from them. I would not want to waste time on things that really do not matter in the long run. I need to do my own karma and I have no control on the karma of others. If others don’t do their karma, it is no reason for me to stop doing my own.
A lot of these ‘petty things’ don’t matter over time. If I could laugh at something six month down the line, I might as well laugh at it at the time it happens as well. It has been some time since I started changing my thought process. I have been only partially successful,but I think the journey is worth exploring and treading upon. Another thing I have learnt is that every such situation which disturbs us teaches us something about our own self. It is for us to either get stuck in the problem or to learn our lesson from it by distancing ourselves from the actual incident. Substitute the question:‘What do I feel out here?’ to ‘What is this situation trying to teach me?’ If we are miserable in one kind of situation for long,it is simply because we have not learnt our lesson so far.