I have been writing about reputation building over the past few weeks and it seems that it is starting to pay off. I am being noticed!!! So everybody should just hang in there. I have actively been doing very specific things to market myself on the platform, and will provide guidance (what worked for me) in an upcoming post to assist others to promote themselves. I have promised the various people who asssited me during my reputation building phase, that I will do the same for other users on the platform.
I want to introduce 
Why babybear? Youll see, I have a babyface and a teddybear like body that is so huggable, you cant resist!.
You can view her introduceyourself post here:
Please read her story and show some vote love!
Beautiful Compromises - The Story Behind My Smile
It was already eleven in the evening yet I was still awake. Five-year olds were supposed to be hitting the sacks already but my eyes just would'nt unglue themselves from the TV. I poked the remote control and hoped there were still cartoon channels on air. After a while, I noticed my dad pass by me and watched him at the corner of my eye. He looked terribly uneasy but I cared less, really. Thirthy minutes later, he would tell me the reason why and from then on, I will always wonder at the irony of it all - how that single moment of indifference will soon change my life forever.
I was six when my grandfather enrolled me in Kindergarten 2. Fortunately or not, my teachers found out I was qualified to enroll in first grade. The start of grade school life went swiftly. Contrary to how I react to first days of class these past few years, I tried to gather new friends when I was in grade school as fast as I could. I was even tagged the "most talkative" in the class. I had the normal fun that kids usually experience, not until that one day.
While I was having a usual chitchat with my seatmate in Math class, I noticed a lady peeping through the wooden windows of our classroom. Her aura still lingered in my mind even though I haven't seen her for almost a year already. Just the image of her drowned me in deep nostalgia. I had the urge to step out of the class, and I did. By then, the lady suddenly kissed and hugged me like I was the most adorable thing on earth.
Young as I was, I got confused on how I should react back. There were only two things I had in mind - either to play mad but stay silent, or to cry and just continue crying. I did both ways. Thoughts from months ago flooded like a flashback in my mind.
"Your mom has left us. She doesn't love us anymore," my father said, his voice seemed breaking. He told me the whole story and all I did was nod while he was explaining. I didn't kmow if I was still too young to let the sad fact sink in or I just though it was all a nightmare and everything would be alright the day after. However, it wasn't nightmare. It was a reality. Everything didn't turn out alright the next day either.
I was mad at the lady who was cuddling me then. I was so mad that I couldn't even tell her. When she asked me who would I choose to stay with between her and my dad, I didn't have second thoughts even though it was only child's instinct who told me that I should pick my dad. I didn't know who was right or wrong between them, but she was the one who left us. She chose another man, and I didn't want another father.
After that, my dad had always been bitter. He didn't allow me to play outside our home since he was afraid my mom would kidnap me or something. It was the most frustrating part of my childhood. I missed the times I played 'pretend' with neighborhood kids and cousins a lot. Every afternoon, I would hope and pray that my father can drowse a bit so I could sneak out. But then, my dad eventually found out my plans and hit me in the butt. That was the end of my childhood.
At ten, I started to keep looking after my father, and it was the only thing I did. He started to bring girls at home, at our home, whenever my grandparents went out of town. Up until today, I still could not count the ladies who have walked into his life - and into our doorstep. Since he was single, I understand he needed someone to fill the gap. What I didn't understand was why he allowed me to see him and his girlfriend cuddle in front of me. Aside from disgusting, those scenes were also disturbing. The mere thought that he never even cared of what I would think of him was even more disturbing. I never told him what I felt or about what he should be doing as a father because I was scared. I was afraid he would reprimand me again for minding his business. But, I didn't want another mother, either.
Because I was coward, he became worse. I grew up without ever being acquainted to a real father. You know, the kind of dad who gets home from work and brings his kids some toys or candies, ot the one who brings the whole family to church? Oh, he could have been that dad, actually. It's just that he didn't have a job to buy the toys and he didn't have a complete family he could go to church with.
I remebered when I was already in sixth grade, our teacher asked us to write an essay about a certain question - If my family and I were inside a crashing plane and there was only one person I could save, who would it be? I could have chosen my grandparents, the people who treated me as their own child. Or it could have been anyone - anyone who didn't cause me so much pain. But then, I had to choose the first person that popped out of my mind - the person who share my eyes and toes with, the person who I hated and cared for at the same time, the person who could change his life and mine, as well.
Just months ago from now, I bought home the Certificate of Recognition for being a Dean's list that I received two semesters ago. I figured it would only rot in my locker without anyone ever knowing about it. The first person I showed it to was my dad. I expected he would just compliment me, or even just smile and say "Good job." Instead, he read it and although the award was already too outdated, he proudly showed it to my grandparents and said, "Your granddaughter is as intelligent as me, see?.
I might sound too pessimistic but I know I may never be able to restore a complete family. I may never be able to live under the same roof with both of my parents. I may never be able to stop crying every time I remember that childhood that didn't feel like it at all. I may never have a perfect father, but I would always wait for change. I would always wait for that person worth saving for in a plane crash. :)
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