“Whatever you decide, don't let it be because you don't think you have a choice.”
― Hannah Harrington, Saving June
Choice making can be one of the most difficult tasks we have as humans. What we decide to do however, I believe, is less important than the realization of our ability and responsibility to choose.
A key determinate for psychotherapists to evaluate the progress of a client is choice making. The first step in making good choices is becoming aware of one's ability to choose. Knowing you are able to make a choice brings you power to accept the situation and how you experience it.
Next, is taking responsibility for the decisions you make, and this results in you owning your experience. Someone who takes responsibility for their actions and attitude can now experience a groundbreaking point of enlightenment at which they consciously create their reality; since they have been creating it all along and didn't know it.
Only if you understand your role in the experience you're having can you become aware of how to change it. What this means is that there are no victims, and there is no one else to blame. I know that's uncomfortable to accept for anyone who may identify with being a victim. My advice to you is to consider the possibility and experiment with taking full responsibility for your situation. I can only speak for myself, and I chose to stop being the victim, and it worked.
What we choose is a direct representation of what we believe. Therefore, expanding the boundaries of limiting beliefs will inevitably increase one's options. A belief that you have no choice is the most restricted reality to exist in. The perception one has of their situation is what limits the options they believe they have. So, the solution lies with open-mindedness, and this is said to be the greatest sign of wisdom.
When hard times come, and they always do, making the choice to stay positive or do what's in your best interest is probably the most challenging part. Yet, knowing the choice is yours can be empowering and help keep you in good spirits along the way.... if you choose to believe it. Anytime someone is in an emotional upset it becomes increasingly difficult to be objective. The longer we entertain negative behavior, thoughts, and feelings- the harder it will become to change them.
I've found it very productive to call myself out when I'm headed down the rabbit hole of destructive choices. Once I have become aware of the problem I check in with how I feel about it and why. Tracing the issue to its cause can start relieving you of the heavily weighted feelings attached. Digging up what it is that really bothers you, and finding out why, takes you a step closer toward becoming indifferent to your triggers.
The ability to choose is what separates us from other earth-bound creatures, and choices are what define who we are. You can start choosing to be and do whatever you want. Just look at where you are, you have chosen things throughout your life to get here. If you don't like it you can change it by making another choice. And remember, indecision is the most stressful thing you can do to your mind, so just make a choice, any choice, knowing you can always change your mind, but at least you're not loosing it!
“The mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its original size.” ― Albert Einstein