Being a Capricorn, it's in my blood to plan every possible thing I assume I can control. Life came at me so fast in the last quarter of 2017. When someone asked me what I was going to do, I said I don't know, right now I just want to take it one day at a time. I have a bad habit of thinking of endless possibilities and falling in love with potential. This time around, my hands were tied. With the holidays, the only thing I could do is wait and try my best to stay positive. Living with uncertainty for two months while being more than a thousand miles away from family and friends had me in an emotional roller coaster.
The past two months has added a lot of substantial depth to essential life clichés. I'm not going to say I'm out of the woods yet, because when it comes to life - are we ever, really?
Life is not a race. Marriage is not the finish line. The model or couple you consider #goals is going through their own journey. Whether you're working towards it or praying for it, you have to remember that you're gonna get what's yours, eventually. Comparison is the thief of joy. When you stop obsessing over it, fate will hand it to you with both hands when you least expect it. Expectations feeds frustration. It's an unhealthy attachment to outcomes we wish we could control; but don't.
Focus on you. Expect less from others and more from yourself. Let go of five year plans that requires another person aside from yourself. Going forward, I want to curate my goals based on me, myself and I - in it’s own glory. Let go of past failures and outdo your past. Focus that tunnel vision on the person you want to be. You get what you focus on, so focus on what YOU want and LIVE FOR YOURSELF!
Love yourself. When you learn to love yourself, flaws and all, you learn not to settle. You stick to your gut and make healthier choices for you and your atmosphere. Water your soul with positive thoughts, plant healthy habits into your life, embrace being alone without being lonely, and learn the true meaning of being complete. You know who's going to give you everything? Yourself.
Don't lose hope. While going through the absolute most this past holiday season, I found myself sobbing at Christmas Eve mass. "We must celebrate that we have a God that keeps his promises." Hearing that in that moment, I was sad, frustrated and thankful all at the same time. Sad and possibly a little mad because of what I was going through. Frustrated because I felt so hopeless. Thankful because I know that what I was going through wasn't the end of the world. Exercising positivity and building resiliency is so important in life. This might have been a new low for me but it could always be worst. Those times when you don't feel like being positive are the times when choosing to be positive makes the biggest difference.
I learned that God makes no mistakes, and if there's anything I can control, it's what I choose to do. Whether it's saying yes or no; taking the risk and learning your lesson or being afraid to fail and wondering what could've been. There are so many decisions to make in one day and each choice has it's own impact that can last for a second or a lifetime. Taking it one day at a time, in the moment, is truly the best thing you can do. Learn from yesterday, live for today, and hope for tomorrow.
God, when I lose hope, help me remember that your love is greater than my disappointments and your plans for my life are better than my dreams.
Wishing you all an amazing 2018!