So I had been planning a trip for so long and one of my relatives was supposed to accompany me on the trip. Unfortunately, He fell sick a week before we had to go for booking and I thought that he would be fine by the next week. The whole week passed and he felt the same. Turned out he had developed some stomach problem that needed good guidance for two weeks. I was still hopeful that it would all be ok by the time we are ready to fly off. However, a week later, he asked me to extend the booking dates and it got me so disturbed. I had a lot of plans for the dates we were traveling on. This trip was supposed to be a kind of break and develop a spiritual connection with the God again. Fortunately, the dates we got included two special days. One, the birthday of the person who inspires me every day and whose shrine I was visiting and two, my birthday. I was really looking forward to spending my birthday night at the shrine and regain the spiritual connection I had been dying to experience. Anyway, I got really upset and decided to travel alone. Discussing this with my mom, she used the word ‘compromise’ with me. She told me that I should be flexible and compromise my plans and extend the dates. I won't lie, I'm the kind of person that doesn’t like to change my plans for others. Maybe that’s me being selfish but trust me, I don’t want anybody to change or alter their plans for me either. Everybody should have a personal life too that allows them to whatever they want, without having to rely on someone else or without having to depend on them.
I was in tears out of anger for even thinking that I would have to change my plan. I had already planned for the dates and I was really looking forward to it! Anyway, analyzing the situation, I thought about it and I started thinking what I was getting out of compromising for him? And if I should really comprise or just go by myself. This made me stumble upon the very idea of being selfless and wondering where I need to compromise and where I need to stay firm in my decisions. I started reading about how I can practice compromising and what is it that really makes me a compromising person. Here is what I ended up extracting:
Make sure you compromise for the right people
When something starts going towards the direction we did not see coming, we start getting angry. We start feeling that life is not fair to us. Its hard to control our emotions at that time but to be honest, life is unfair to everyone at some point. We never know what situation we find ourselves in. The truth is that we do need people in our lives. If you compromise on your plans for someone today, somebody else will compromise for you someday. It's really about compassion and understanding towards each other. Of course, compromise is only needed where it is valued. Make sure that you compromise for the people who matter to you and who would value it.
Give people a chance
When in a fight with someone, we often want to be right and start thinking irrationally. We think about all the negative aspects and start getting furious even more. The topic then turns into a personal comment on each other and it leads to further complications. Compromising tells you to let go of the things happened in past and start fresh. If a person is willing to change and feels bad for the past mistakes, he or she does deserve another chance. Give it to them like you would give a chance to yourself.
Be ready to compromise on smaller things for bigger aims
Always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst too. Being optimistic doesn’t mean that you ignore all the realities and close your eyes to the things you don't want to see. You should think about a possibility in every way and be ready to compromise for what you have set your eyes on. It could be a goal or an aim that you want to achieve. Just know that not you might be facing unexpected problems and that you should be ready to deal with them and compromise where needed. Your priorities need to be set straight.
Be flexible
Sometimes, if you really think about certain situations in all directions, you might realize that at times you will have to leave behind your own principles and act differently. It is ok. Be willing to change where needed. If you set certain rules for yourself in life, that a good thing. It keeps you disciplined in life. However, don’t make them such hard and fast rules to follow that you become so rigid in situations that it becomes your weakness. Know that you might have to break or bend at times to get you much more fruitful results.
Appreciate where needed
As humans, we have this really bad habit of developing opinions about someone. We get so judgmental that even if they do something good in life, we ignore it. No matter how bad a person has done to you or how bad opinions you have about them, learn to appreciate them where needed.
Keep your mind open
Compromising never makes you a week person. It defines your ability to adapt to a situation and not just depend on your heart. A lot of times, we do have to think differently than we normally do and open up our minds to various other possibilities. It's important to keep the mind open and listen to others as well as think on their opinion.
