It takes years of bad experience for nice people like you, to realize that it is essentially reasonable and quite ok to say no sometimes. People who are always there when someone needs them, may not know this, but they lose their value. Even that takes time to realize, and when you finally find out, the water already has reached the surface point and you’ve almost drowned in your kindness.
Drowning in kindness may seem like a nice proverb but basically, you’re just being used. Whether you like it or not, this is the ugly truth. Now we’re not saying to start practicing your mean facial expressions and present yourself as the stubborn, non-helping-always-refusing kind of person, but to know your limits. Anything that exceeds a certain limit, no matter how good it is for your health or life, has adverse effects. Likewise, being too kind constantly, can make you go through all the hardship you don’t want.
Here are some bitter truths that you need to gulp down and swallow like an acrimonious pill, to know how kindness can make you go through all the hardship.
⦁ You lose your worth
Yes, you read it correctly. Being always available for people even if they are your close friends and relatives, will make you lose your worth. If you can’t learn to say ‘no’, then you’ll eventually have to be available for people all the time. Though you’re doing them a favor, it becomes a burden for you little by little, and instead of appreciating you, people are actually mean enough to not realize your worth and take you for granted.
⦁ You won’t always be happy
It is because you’re always marching towards other people’s drum beatings instead of putting yourself first and foremost. Sure, you’ll be happy by helping people out in even small ways possible, but if you’re too kind, most of the time, by putting people’s needs and wishes before yours, you won’t necessarily be as happy as you should be.
⦁ Others will take advantage of you
There aren’t always lovely and grateful people around. As a matter of fact, the percentage of nice people is so low that we fear they might be on the verge of extinction today.
Jokes aside, when you’re available and always too kind to people, others will take advantage of you. It is not necessary to have a stout, sturdy and a strong reason for saying no. You ought to say ‘no’ even when you don’t feel like doing the work someone asked you to do.
If you’re one of those rare benevolent, compassionate and kind people who is reading this article, you know you love to apologize when you can’t help someone because you are truly too busy in your own very imperative and vital task. You tend to say ‘sorry’ a lot even when a slight inconvenience is caused by you. You’ll unintentionally end up disparaging and patronizing yourself and present yourself as a subservient positioned person.
Learn to exclaim statements of yours with a strong, unyielding and rigid conducts. Don’t be sorry for the things you have absolutely no control of.
⦁ You’ll eventually feel resentful most of the time
It is so very common to feel resentful after you’ve been exploited because of your super polite and always-ready-to-help kind of behavior.
⦁ People will expect highly from you; disappointment from both sides
When you’re available 24/7, people will expect from you to be there whenever they need you. No matter what kind of an emergency you are in. Since you truly will not be able to help them, instead of understanding and respecting your personal life, people will be thwarted in you and won’t hesitate to express their disappointment in you. As a result, you too will be disappointed.
Try telling people your limits in an understandable way; from their point of view and size of thoughts.
⦁ You’ll forget about self-love and self-care
You've not entitled for a personal life anymore. You’ll be too busy in helping out others that you’ll even lose your own life schedule, self-love and self-care. Ultimately resulting in a bad routine, lack of sleep, dehydration, not so good health and other various health and mental issues.
Timing is so important. You ought to fix a time for your personal projects and care as wisely, prudently and keenly as you so freely give out your time to other people.
⦁ You won’t be trustworthy
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The dreadful, horrible and hideous veracity is, being available for people too much, will make them think you basically have a hidden resolution and a purpose. They’ll think you’re acting up or being superficial. Hence, you will not be trustworthy.
You ought to have a ‘me-time’ in a day. Give yourself at least 20-minutes for meditating. Respect yourself enough to walk away from the things you don’t feel like doing because after all, it’s your decision and it totally depends on you.
