It is kind of hard to believe that we are at the end of the second decade of the 21st century and yet women still do not quite get the respect, rights, and recognition they deserve. For a large part of the male population, it is still okay to not just objectify women but (for want of a better phrase) also “put them in their place” if need be. In all honesty, this is a very sorry state of affairs. While detractors may argue that women today have it better than they have had at any point in history, there really isn’t much to write home about.
2017 brought with it one of the most successful viral campaigns in recent memory. Without any doubt, the Me Too hashtag has been a great success, having exposed countless sexual predators and creeps in high places who misuse their power to harass women. And therein is the cause for concern. The fact that the MeToo campaign had many big-name Hollywood actresses (all supposedly empowered women) come out to share their harrowing experiences just goes to show that even rich and successful women have to face gender harassment and various forms of predatory assault at the hands of creepy yet powerful men.
The main problem is not women rather how men are conditioned to think of such cheap acts as a bit of casual fun from time to time. They grow believing it is okay to objectify women and reduce them to nothing more than a piece of meat born with only the function to please them in most cases. This is the mindset that needs to change. Because until it happens, there will always be some lady in some part of the world saying me too. And to make sure this happens, we need to teach our young boys that women do not exist to please them.
The only hope of change we have is not changing the grown up men rather plant the fertile minds of young boys. Our boys need to know a woman does not go outside to make herself a tool of their satisfaction. She is a human being, not a gender. Women can go outside, make their careers or just wander around just like men. When a woman steps outside home for some fresh air, all she wants is to get refreshed and not examined from head to toe to see if she is worth enough for pleasure or not. Men who encounter women outside often assume they have the right to assault them for this is why women, in the first place, leave their homes.
It is time we start teaching our kids, a woman’s dress should not dictate your moral values. You ought to respect women regardless of their attitude, education, or smile just the way you would want it for yourself.
With all this, tell your sons that there would be times when women will exploit them. There will be times when men will be victims of women. But this is not a battle between sexes. This is not a ‘man Vs woman’ war. Victims are the same everywhere, regardless of the gender. Know that women, just like you, don’t want to be dehumanized. Know that when a woman says me too she is actually saying, she reckons the miseries and pains you have gone through and she stands up with you.
Sit down with your sons, talk to them. Pour your wisdom onto them. Hear them out. Try to tell them, this is all about equal human rights, equal dignity and equal worth. Women deserve as much respect as they do. They deserves the same amount of personal freedom and space as you would want for yourself. When a woman says ‘no’ it means no.
If you are a dad reading this, know that only talking will not help. You need to model the behavior you want your sons to repeat. Treat your wife the way you want them to treat theirs. When your boys see you respectfully dealing with your wife, her friends or mother in law, he will want to repeat your behavior.
Being a mother or a father, only you have the power to raise your boy in a respectable, fine young man. Monitor his sense of entertainment. Tell him the music, video games or movies that objectify women, take them as an ‘entity’ rather a being are wrong. Admit to your boys that they will see people around them watching pornography or verbally abusing women but this is not okay. They are better than that.
Know that only strong, powerful women raise model citizens. Have values, live by them, keep conversations with your sons and you will see your son as a young feminist.