If there’s anything that could undo the agonizing events, all the abuse survivors would give everything for it. One of the most important things you should know, if you are an abuse survivor, the voices in your head should not go unheard. Your silence can not only isolate you but encourage the issue to be a taboo. The pain you are going through is also hurtful for the rest of us. You deserve a healthy, happy life like any other person.
If you are going through an identity crisis, hiding from the world, this is for you. There are somethings you should know about how others feel for you.
- This is Not Your Fault
Quite often it is told ‘it was not your fault’ but do you really take it? The first emotional phase an abuse survivor enters into is guilt. Your brain might start brainwashing you by excuses like ‘had I not gone to that party’ or ‘had I yelled for help’ and this would not have happened. The truth of the matter, however, is quite contrary.
You need to know that none of it was because of you. This simply is the outcome of filth in abuser’s corrupted mind. The only person to be blamed is the culprit. You did not deserve any of it.
- Keeping Silence Will Not Help You
Your silence is totally understandable for traumatic experiences make you go in the dark. The first reaction anyone can give is silence. Psychiatrists say, during the ongoing experience, the first response of your body is, your voice gets lost.
However, keeping silence forever is not a solution rather destruction. What you need to comprehend here is that it is not you who should be ashamed and silenced rather the perpetrator. Once you get outside the dark zone and start talking about it, you will see a lot of new happy things happening around you.
- You Are Not Alone
Remember, no matter how things get worst, you are never alone. There are people all around you to support you, strengthen you with love. Understandably, trusting anyone becomes a real problem but if you focus on the love you are receiving, you will get back on the track.
In case of any psychological assistance, you may find a lot of organizations and platforms eager to help you with whatever you need.
- This Did Not Happen to You Only
Know that according to WHO report, 1 in every 3 women is sexually assaulted worldwide from partners and non-partners. It happens to kids and grown up men as well. You should not feel there’s a fault in you that led to it. This happens around cultures globally.
Lift up your power and start living like a healthy person
- Trying Various Things for Healing is Not Bad
Just like ‘sexual assault’ is still a taboo even in 2018, talking openly about getting help is also a taboo. But you should know it is your right to get any kind of assistance you need be it seeing a psychiatrist. Healing can take different forms. Sometimes all you might need is counselling but other times you would want to take medication for it as well. There is absolutely no shame in trying everything you know until you become a happy person like you were before.
- It’s Your Right to Report or Not Report to Police
We all should agree to this point that it is only your choice to report your case to the police or not. If you are not comfortable with police embarrassing you with questions and going to hearings at the court, know that it is totally okay.
But if you would like to get justice, hand over the culprit to jail, where he belongs, and make sure other girls don’t go through the same, you are taking a heroic stance.
- You Are Entitled to a Happy, Healthy Life
No matter how thick the dark clouds get in your life, the sun will soon bright over your head. Regardless of the agonizing incident that took away the good in your life, you still can make the rest of it cheerful. You are entitled to a happy life like any other person. Don’t dwell on the past, move on. Know that the bad part is over, now you can be like you were before. Live like you are reborn.
If anything you’ve read so far does not help you, it is okay. You don’t need to blame yourself for not getting back on the track. The deep wounds take time to recover but know, the flower that blooms in adversity is the best of all.
At any point if you feel like you are unable to move on, you should get help from a psychiatrist or a counsellor. Your wellbeing should be the only priority.