I am TIRED! Exhausted in fact! - Actually, I am beyond exhausted!
I am at BREAKING POINT!
But - I am STRONG!
What sickens (and saddens) me most about where I sit right now, is that despite my UNENDING and UNWAVERING strength for others over years and years and years and years and years and years and years and years (detect a little frustration there?)....
is that when I NEED it....
Where is it?
When I need THEM....
Where are they?
Nowhere to be found I tell you.... NOWHERE!
What a bloody Shocker!!! lol!
I can look forwards, backwards, left, right and 360 degrees around - and dizzying as it is, I stand alone.
Strong people don't need other people.... right?!
WRONG!
Years ago, I met a psychic. An incredible woman who within seconds of seeing me, told me everything I already knew about myself. One of the things she told me which made me burst into tears and cry like a child for about two hours, was "you are carrying the burdens of people you have yet to even meet".
Simply hearing those words cracked me in half...
I knew it was the truth - but it hurt, because nobody was there to help me carry my own, let alone the weight of all the rest. It was a difficult pill to swallow and having somebody verbally "confirm" it for me made it an even more difficult cross to bear.
I have spent my life advising others - helping them untie their knots. Finding solutions to all the seemingly unsolvable... It is precisely what I have always wanted to do, but surely not at my own demise? That doesn't make any sense does it?
Of what use am I to anybody else, if I am breaking? So what do the strong do and where do they turn - when they need somebody? I will tell you where they turn... they turn to themselves - because they are the only ones who know... and from my experience, the only ones who truly understand and/or care...
It truly never ceases to amaze me how fundamentally selfish the human race is.
It does not matter how much you sacrifice for another. How much you give of yourself, no matter how challenging... it is A) never enough and B) always lacking in return when you need it most.
People - are FICKLE and ultimately - SHALLOW!
That bell was rung loud and true for me yesterday - and the deafening echo still rings in my ears... never to be forgotten.
But, let the ringing continue... because it is a constant reminder to me that I am NOT here to be anyone's SHEEP!
NOPE!
I might have moments or even days of weakness (I too, am human)...
I might lose my way momentarily and I might find myself on my knees in tears at times, but I will NEVER give up! NEVER - and I will put MONEY on the fact that I will out last most others who seemingly have "all the enthusiasm" in the bloody world!
I don't have any "Gung Ho"?
Hmmmm.....
Oh, I have PLENTY of that dear - AND SOME!
Moments of weakness are NO reflection of one's strength... they are but a building block of that strength!
I am a leader, a fighter, and I, my friend... have more "GUNG HO" than you would EVER know what to do with!
MARK my words!
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
