It was a long way home from here.
I'd say it was desolate, because it felt like it was, but the truth is there were probably about a thousand cars on the road.
There was no company in traffic though. In fact, the only company I had with me at the moment was the harshly cold pouring rain. If it rains hard enough it sort of feels like little pebbles hitting you, a thousand at of time.
The only thing that I had on was a tiny black shirt with the logo of some lame band on it, a black belt, blue jeans, and a black pair of boots.
Source: Giphy.com
My thick wallet felt full in my back pocket. It wasn't full of money, but rather....... letters. How many letters had she written me this month alone?
She hadn't wanted to leave and I hadn't really wanted to let her go. Pride.
So I walked slowly down the hard cement sidewalk, each step causing great agony in my knees and shins.
My boots were filling with water so I pulled my blue jeans down and tucked them in the little spaces.
I guess I still had about 10 miles to go before I actually got to my apartment.
Just this morning we locked eyes, hers were as blue as deep ocean water, and she whispered to me "I love you."
It wasn't really a term of affection though. Not this time.
It was a goodbye.
That's when I found myself here. A biker bar, a piano, a pool table, a pool cue, an argument, a guy that was much bigger than me, and a car whose tires were all deflated and whose windows were all smashed in.
I'm not in any trouble though. I'm just walking in the rain.
Walking in the rain.
Not back into her arms.
Not back into the past.
Only to my simple warm apartment.
It may be empty but it's also real.
I can endure the cold for a little while longer.
Every step is another picture, another memory.....
Sometimes we just don't know what goodbye means.
We have to live our lives though...... so I will keep on walking.
One day.... one day...... I will walk in the door and know that I've finally arrived.
