Every 40 seconds one of us takes their own lives. What can we do? How do we make it safe for the people we love to share their truth on a bad day because then they will see life is worth living? Why is it critical to share our own stories of times we have almost made our premature exit? Where can we find a place to see the common reasons for suicide and simple solutions for what seems at the time like a hopeless problem?
The top cause of death for those of us under age 55 is ending our own lives both directly with suicide and indirectly through poisoning with alcohol and drugs combined with related outcomes like traffic accidents and trauma from the "I hope someone else will kill me" outcome where many accidents and crime victims place themselves intentionally in dangerous situations hoping for an end that appears to be not our fault.
What I hope makes this effective is that I speak from my own experience on everything I share here and I am grateful Steemit empowers the sharing of our stories! From age 19 to age 29 I plotted all kinds of ways to end it all with the most elaborate becoming a police officer where I fantasized hundreds of times about being killed at work and all of the kind things people would share about me at my funeral and on social media. Thankfully all these plots failed as you can see because at the same time I made them I also did want to keep living which just made life a living hell where I could not live or die despite my best efforts. In April 2014 I finally realized that the game was over and that I was very close to actually making my exit after 10 years of half hearted attempts and that I had no choice but to go through with it. I begged God for a way out which was very confusing as an agnostic at the time.
The way out I discovered involves helping other people which is why I show up here with you today with the best help I can think to provide. I am grateful I chose and continue to choose to live wholeheartedly today because still the desire to end it all still comes up occasionally for usually trivial reasons. When it does I stop what I am doing, pray for help, listen for the help I receive, talk to loved ones, and let it pass in just a few seconds, minutes, or hours at the worst.
Today I am grateful I have been branded with this to be of service helping you whether you know from your own experience or whether your loved ones need you to be able to better understand. If you find this post helpful, will you share it because maybe it will save at least one life today? If you prefer to watch, would you see the original video I created for this below?
Thank you very much to @gmichelbkk for converting the transcription of the YouTube video from GoTranscript into this beautiful post for Steemit, which is much faster to read than the video and has beautiful illustrations!
Situations where people often end their own lives
Why is this post and matching video worth sharing?
Experience 11 situations where people often go crazy enough to end their own lives and a solution.
How do I know? I've experienced personally every situation in this post and I share them because I am very grateful to still be here with you today. Many of these nearly ended my life before they were resolved and all were huge fears for most of my adult life which I have since passed through. Many are summarized, paraphrased, or adapted for more general experience to help be of greatest service here. For example, I never received a text message from an ex with the exact phrasing I use in the example below but I did go through the exact situation described over a period of months including a day where I sat at the computer with a gun to my head ready to end it all over losing her while listening to "What Is Love."
Situation 1
Let's get started, this is number one.
You get a message from an EX, the message says:
"I cheated on you and I'm breaking up with you."
This was the very first time that I had a really hard time not wanting to just end it all. I was pushed right to the brink by getting this message.
My first reaction was, "Oh my God! I can't live without you. Oh my God, what am I going to do?"
I've since been on both ends of this and it's really difficult. The truth I've learned is to say: "thank you."
Instead of reacting with what I said, I should have said, "thank you" to the Ex for making me single because I found or will find someone better.
I'm grateful now that I have found an amazing wife that loves me so much. I never would have found her without the horrible pain and having nearly ended my life for getting dumped.
Here are some tips for attracting your soul mate right here.
This is really simple, eat raw vegan, basically, and exercise daily, which is suggested in "How not to die," along with prayer and meditation. There you go, it's really that simple to attract an amazing person to be with.
Situation 2
Here is another situation, message from work, "You're going to quit or we will fire you."
This was really painful for me and my first reaction was, "This place will burn! I'll send you all to hell!"
I'm lucky that's not what I did, but I feel like a lot of us feel that same way whenever we lose a job or a career ends.
The truth, whenever my employer did sit me down to get me to quit, then I should have thanked them, I should have said, "Thank you for motivating me to continue my education."
"Thank you for getting rid of this job so that now, I am inspired to go back to school."
The secret to making more money is to learn 100-plus dollars an hour skills reading books and watching YouTube video tutorials like the ones I make. That has worked for me because I've made over $100 an hour on average, in my business in 2016 and it really is that simple.
So, instead of getting pushed to the edge by an employer firing you, it's a great opportunity to advance your career.
Situation 3
Message from school, "You failed."
You get that F on your report card, you get kicked out of school and you think it's all over now.
"Oh my God, this isn't fair, I don't deserve this. I worked hard, I'm not stupid."
Then the truth should be, "Thank you for encouraging me to drop out and study on my own."
Getting kicked out of school might be the best thing that ever happened to you if you are like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs.
Bill Gates's the founder of Microsoft and Steve Jobs founded Apple, both of them dropped out of school to establish their companies.
I was in a PhD program and I dropped out of that to found my company online as well.
So, this works for anyone.
Failing at school is perfect motivation to teach yourself and yet, there are so many kids around the world that have taken their own lives because of getting kicked out of school, or out of the shame of it.
Statistically, we have lost about 10 or 20 people just taking their own lives while I've been doing this video so far. That's why I'm doing it and that's why I hope to help with.
Situation 4
I've gotten this message from the law many times, "Stop drinking and speeding."
I've been pulled over for speeding at least 10 times in my life and my reaction was, "You don't know me. I'm important, don't you know who I am? I'm in a hurry. I'm going places, get out of my way."
That is a miserable way to live. The truth is that the last time I got pulled over by a police officer, I was able to experience this, "Thank you for helping me see the path to a more peaceful life. A peaceful life where I'm not in a hurry all the time."
A life free of stress and addiction is possible.
There are 12-step recovery programs all over the world working for millions to help with addictions, and billions of people get relief every day through prayer and meditation. If it works for them, there is no reason it can't work for all of us.
Situation 5
Have you got a message from friends like this, "You are crazy!"
I know there are people or someone who's going to take their life today because their friends are telling them how crazy they are, or telling them one way or another that they are a bad person, that they hate them or can't stand them.
I've been pushed to the edge several times by drama with my friends, basically telling me, "You are crazy!"
My first reaction was, "Well, you are too! You are crazy too! You wouldn't hang out with me if you weren't so crazy!"
Then my friends said, "You're being selfish," and I replied "No. you're being selfish."
They said, "You're a jerk," and I said, "No, you are a jerk."
Then, "You did this," and, "No you did that."
That could literally turn into a life ending thing.
Instead, what I say to my friends today is, "Thank you for loving me enough to tell me the truth because it motivated me to get help."
I had a friend who told me that I needed to get God into my life and I laughed, I scoffed to him, I said, "What an idiot you are."
You know what?
Even though that's the way I reacted to him, I did take his advice to heart and I did go forward to get help.
Just ask.
Have you seen "Fight Club," where Brad Pitt asks Edward Norton, "Just ask, all you got to do is ask, it's just like that."
The only separation between the problem and the solution is asking. If you ask for help any problem you have will be fixed. If you have relationships, jobs or finance problems, whatever problems, ask right now for help and they will be fixed. A solution will be given to you.
I know because I've had about every problem and they're all fixed now.
Situation 6
You might get a message like this from family, "You can do better."
My dad told me this right before he died in 2014.
He looked at me and he saw me fat, he saw me addicted, he saw me selfish, he saw me acting like a jerk, and he said, "You can do better."
It crushed me, it just crushed me.
You know my reaction?
My reaction was just like when I was a teenager, screaming at my dad, "I wish I had never been born. I wish I'd never been born."
I remember screaming at him when the truth should have been, and this should be for all parents, "I appreciate you as a parent giving me a chance at life and I'm grateful for the example, and vow to do better."
Every parent gives us a chance, an amazing opportunity to do better in life by teaching us what they did and giving us the chance to improve on it. The question comes down to, "Is it victim, or is it a choice?"
Are we, as children of parents, victims of them having fun messing around and being irresponsible, or does each soul get to choose to be here in this life today?
I believe that each soul like me has decided to come down from Heaven. I chose my parents and I came down to Earth, and then I lost my way. Now, I'm grateful through the help of others to have remembered, and I hope I'm offering you this same opportunity here, to give up being a victim and choose life today.
Situation 7
Then, when you choose life, you may get a message like I did.
In 2014, I was lying in bed with an awful hangover and suicidal depression, and I got the thought, "You are going to die soon."
My response was, "No. Not me! No, I'm not dying, I'm afraid of death, it's not fair, I don't deserve this."
When the truth is, matter and energy can never be destroyed. What we are made of never dies and neither do we. The form is always changing.
Who you are today is different from who you used to be, and is different from who you will be in terms of what your body looks like, what your life looks like.
If you bake something in the oven, if you make something out of five ingredients, baking it doesn't change the initial ingredients you put into it. Your body is made out of immortal ingredients. Whatever you do with them doesn't change the fact that everything lives forever.
If you think that the big questions in life aren't answerable as I did for lots of my life when I was miserable — I thought the big questions like, "Why are we here?" weren't answerable — try reading a book of faith, and you might be surprised to find an answer that works for you, as I've found many answers that work for me on a daily basis, or try reading "The Power of Now," or "A Course in Miracles," or "Proof of Heaven," if you want something that is less written in faith language.
Situation 8
You might get a message like this from the government that says, "We are watching you."
Have you read up on how the government is watching you?
My first reaction when I found out was "Oh my God, get out of my life, I need my privacy. Get out of my life, I hate you. You can't watch me. How dare you watch me?"
The truth is that today I say, "Thank you to the government for helping me live a life where I no longer keep secrets. I feel free to encourage the government to look at everything, to look at everything in my life. You can look through all of it. I'm not doing anything that I am here to hide. I live a life today of no secrets. I'm willing to tell you anything. I don't hold anything inside."
Why?
Because a life of secrets is a life of pain.
When we are happy, joyous and free, we want to share it with everyone. When we are miserable, frustrated, struggling and having a hard time, those are things that breed secrets.
Secrets to me equal pain.
If I'm doing great, I want to tell everyone about what I'm doing, sit down for dinner and really give them the whole story.
If I'm not doing so good, then I want to just keep it a secret act like "I'm fine." The solution is to give away all the secrets and you'll give away all the pain you've held on to.
Situation 9
You might get a message like this from the bank, "You owe us a lot of money."
It might be a message from the bank, a bill collector or someone else, and you wouldn't believe how many people have ended their own life over messages like this.
The first reaction often comes off like, "Oh my god, what am I going to do now? I'm going to go broke and die."
There are literally people who were the richest person in their town, country or the world, and when they lost their wealth, when they no longer were the richest person, they killed themselves because they couldn't live with not being the richest person anymore.
There's a better way to do it.
If your bill collectors and creditors are coming at you, you can say, "Thank you for trusting me with your money or services, so that I may give you back a return on your investment."
I owe over $270,000 today and I'm grateful to everyone who's loaned me money, so that I could use it now, and give them a return on their investment.
What I've learned is that money is a game.
More money equals more fear until we find the joy of playing the game and giving back.
You might think that if you had more money, you'd have a better life, but according to the data, once you have a comfortable life, then more money doesn't make you any happier. In fact, more money tends to make you less happy.
If you have a fear about the money you have right now, today, in your life, try having more of it. In my experience, there's even more fear and worry when you have more money because you can spend it worse and people can take it.
Situation 10
You might get a message from your partner like this to put you over the edge, "Why are you being like this?"
My mom and dad had some epic fights over this very thing. My wife and I have had some challenging times with this as well.
My first reaction most of my life has usually been, "Being like what? Being like what? What? You don't know."
The truth is, now when my wife asks something like, "Is everything okay? How are you doing? What's going on?"
I now think and respond to this with, "Thank you for helping me understand and experience my feelings."
I want to experience my feelings and continue going forward.
What you can feel, you can heal.
Any hurt, pain, anger, frustration, depression or fear will be replaced with joy after some time praying and crying.
These are two of the very most effective tools for healing anything. If you won't deal with something, it will keep following you around until you do deal with it.
I ran from pain as far back as three years old in my life. I ran for 27+ years before I stopped and looked at it.
"Wow, okay that hurt. Let's feel the hurt and move on."
I experienced some hurt and fear today right before this presentation.
I prayed about it, I cried and I feel back to normal now in just a few minutes, instead of still complaining at people 20 years later, for the same resentment.
Situation 11
You might get a message from the world, "You are not good enough!"
The world might tell you that you're not good enough. You're not high enough in the leader boards in your game, you're not strong enough, you don't look good enough, you don't make enough money, and the first reaction is often to say, "Well, neither are you. Look at this world. If this world wasn't so bad people wouldn't be ending their lives every 40 seconds to escape it. If this world wasn't such a horrible place, then it would be treating me better."
That reaction produces a devastating result that often ends in a misery, and finally releases in death.
The truth is, we are creating this world together now in perfect harmony. This is kind of a divine dance we're doing. You've brought me into your universe and I'm very grateful for that. I'm grateful that Google and Facebook have assisted with that through Facebook or YouTube ads.
The fact is, you summoned me, either consciously or on some deep level. You summoned me into your world. We're doing this dance together now.
I love this analogy.
I saw a post online where a beggar who was blind put a sign out that said: "Give me money."
No one gave him money.
A marketer came along and changed the sign to read: "It is a beautiful day outside and I can't see it."
Very quickly, the man's cup overflowed with all of the donations he received.
How many days of my life have I spent like a blind beggar, going around in the middle of the beautiful day and I couldn't see it?
The sky was blue, the sun was shining, the people were smiling, and I was complaining about everyone and everything, and all I could see was ugly.
Would you work on making a better world with me today?
I think we're making a beautiful world already.
Would you see it with us?
Would you share in our beautiful world today?
I'm inviting you, I live in a beautiful world.
I'm inviting you to join me, and everyone else in Heaven, essentially.
You can come wherever you're at, no matter how far into the depths you've got.
You're welcome to join us at any time.
Maybe your first reaction is, "Wow, I have to share this post or this video with my best friend. Oh my God, that's the best post and video ever! I couldn't even stand a living. I've watched this video at home, and there's a magical transformation that happened to me."
I think that's possible for you today, and I appreciate you reading this because so many people loved me enough to share these kinds of things with me, that eventually I got the message and instead of creating an uglier world, I'm here creating what I hope is a beautiful world today.
Will you please share this with a friend today?
You can use Steemit or YouTube or Facebook or Twitter or whatever else you like!
You can share the actual video link or the post.
You never know who you might make a huge impact on today.
Whoever you feel inspired to share this with, you might be able to help them or maybe even just in sharing it, you'll help yourself.
I have a podcast with hundreds of episodes that I put on my YouTube channel and Facebook, as well as iTunes. It's called, "Happier People." I have so many days like today, I make the podcast in the morning, there's something that comes up in my life later and whatever I said to help you in the podcast, ends up helping me.
So, maybe just sharing this video will be a decision you made.
You said, "You know what? I'm going to do something charitable to help the world today."
I've made this video on the spirit of love and joy, out of the hope that in these twenty or so minutes, maybe someone watching it would be able to stay with us today.
I'm grateful to still be here.
I've had a lot of days where I didn't want to be on this world, on this Earth anymore.
So, I'm grateful to have another day today and I'm doing everything I can think of to offer that same joy to you.
Thank you very much for reading this today.
I'll still love you whether you share this with a friend or not and I'll do my best to continue being of service to you each day wherever you are.
Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day today.
If you found this post helpful on Steemit, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed? If you would like me to follow you, would you please read this post next?
Love,
Jerry Banfield