'The act of self-questioning – so simple, so misunderstood, so infrequently pursued. Can change everything.'

The first type of question is Passive questions – questions that describe a static condition. “Do you have clear goals?”. Its passive because it can cause people to think of what is being done to them rather than what they are doing to themselves. When people are asked passive questions they almost invariably provide “environmental” answers. (my manager doesn’t set clear goals). The passive construction of “do you have clear goals?” begets a passive explanation, that focuses exclusively on the environment, not the individual.

There is nothing inherently evil or bad about passive questions. They can be a very useful tool for helping companies know what they can do to improve. On the other hand, they can produce a very negative unintended consequence. Passive questions can be the natural enemy of taking personal responsibility and demonstrating accountability. They can give people the unearned permission to pass the buck to anyone and anything but themselves. '

Active questions are the alternative to passive questions. There’s a difference between “do you set clear goals?” and “Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?” the former is trying to determine the employees state of mind, the latter challenges the employee to describe or defend a course of action. Fully engaged employees are positive and proactive about their relationship to the job. They not only feel good about what they’re doing; they don’t mind showing off their enthusiasm and commitment to the world.

Different phrasing of the follow-up questions would have a measurable effect because active questions focus respondents on what they can do to make a positive difference in the world rather than what the world can do to make a positive difference for them.

Passive questions:

1. How happy were you today?
2. How meaningful was your day?
3. How positive were your relationships with people?
4. How engaged were you?

Active questions:

1. Did you do your best to be happy today?
2. Did you do your best to find meaning today?
3. Did you do your best to build positive relationships with people today?
4. Did you do your best to be fully engaged today?
5. Did you do your best to set clear goals today?
6. Did you do your best to make progress towards my goal today?

Studies has been conducted 79 times with 2,537 participants to be asked these active questions on a daily basis. (Marshall Goldsmith). Active questions were found to be twice as effective at delivering training benefits to employees. A simple tweak in the language of follow-up – focusing on what the individual can control – makes a significant difference

The results were incredibly positive:

• 37% of participants reported improvement in all six areas
• 65% improved on at least four items
• 89% improved on at least one item
• 11% didn’t change on any items
• 0.4% got worse on at least one item

Givens peoples demonstrable reluctance to change at all. This study shows that active self-questioning can trigger new ways of interacting with our world. Active questions reveal where we are trying and where we are giving up. In doing so, they sharpen our sense of what we can actually change.

We gain sense of control and responsibility instead of victim-hood.

Using the “Did I do my best” formulation. We aren’t asked how well we performed but rather how much we tried. The distinction was meaningful, because in peoples general formulation, if we aren’t happy, we could always blame it on external factors rather than our internal selves. Adding the words “did I do my best” added the element of trying into the equation. It injected personal ownership and responsibility into my question-and-answer process.

Active questions created a different level of engagement with our goals, to give an accurate accounting of our efforts, to make it more meaningful – that is, to see if we are trending positively, and actually making progress. This “Active” process will help anyone get better at almost anything. It only takes a couple of minutes a day. But be warned: it is tough to face the reality of our own behavior – and our own level of effort – everyday.

A well-designed daily questions exercise is vital, In order to measure our efforts towards achieving both our long and short term goals. Here's an example:

As you can see, the first six questions are the engaging questions, the next eight questions revolve around the cornerstone concepts of the wheel of change. Whether we are creating, preserving, eliminating, or accepting. For example:

• Learning something new is creating
• Expressing gratitude is preserving
• Avoiding angry comments is eliminating
• Avoiding proving I'm right when its not worth it is also eliminating
• Making peace with what I cannot change and forgiving myself is accepting

The remaining questions are about family and health. There’s no correct number of questions here. The number is a personal choice, a function of how many issues you want to work on. The point is, your daily questions should reflect your objectives. They’re not meant to be shared in public, meaning they’re not designed to be judged, you’re not constructing your list to impress anyone.Its your list, its your life. Score “Did I do my best” questions on a simple 1-10 scale or you can use whatever works for you. Your only consideration should be:

• Are these items important in my life?
• Will success on these items help me become the person I want to be?

The phrase’ Did I do my best” triggers trying

Not only it changes our behavior but how we interpret and react to that behavior. It delivers some unexpected emotional wallops that inspire change or knock us out of the game completely. Like most people, the objectives would fall into sets of broad categories:

• Health goals ; Reduce sugar consumption, Exercise daily
• Family and intimate relationships ; Being nicer to your partner, More patient with your parents/kids
• Money management ; Save xxx amount of money per month, Start a new business
• Enlightenment ; Daily meditation, Be happier everyday
• Discipline ; Wake up at 6:30 every morning, Eat at the right time
• Intellectual stimulation ; Learning new languages, Learning new techniques
• Stopping undesirable behavior; Stop biting your nails, Throwing clothes on the floor
• Career objectives ; Start blogging , Join a professional group

Within 2 weeks, most people will give up and stop answering the daily questions. They’ll give up keeping score altogether, they’ll abandon the whole process. Because it is incredibly difficult for any of us to look in the mirror everyday and face reality that we didn’t even try to do what we claimed was most important in our lives. But that’s human nature. In every group, not everyone can get A’s. Some of us will try harder than others.

We crave instant gratification and chafe at the prospect of prolonged trying. Daily questions by definition, compel us to take things one day at a time. In doing so they shrink our objectives into manageable twenty-four hour increments.

Ultimately, Daily questions remind us that:

• Change doesn't happen overnight
• Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out
• If we make the effort, we will get better. If we don't, we simply won't.