I was doing stuffs online when the internet suddenly shutdown, all the sites weren't working and even Hive and PeakD weren't too. I slowed down and wondered what was happening. Realized it was an issue with Cloudfare afar a while.
Yesterday was another heavy dump in the crypto market, I didn't bother to check prices because I knew it'll just send me down a spiral below. I've been expecting to get some pay for over 3 weeks now and it hasn't happened.
Basically everything hadn't turned out so good in the past month, and the internet had to stop working for me to actually sit down a little to imagine everything that's been going on wrongly. My hospital appointment was supposed the to be in a week, but I had to postpone, because I wasn't mentally prepared for having blood drawn, experiencing anxiety and then having that after effect of trying to accept everything.
lately all I do is try to make money to pay the bills, take some time to pray and then slump to bed after a hard day, the work has been telling on my physical and mental health.
Some days ago, some old acquaintance messaged me, saying they wanted to start up something serious, that they had send the world and wanted a lover who could be with them. For a moment I laughed inside of me, I'm sure that knocked out 20 points from my BP.
This is because I remembered when looking for love was my biggest problem, to be fair I was healthier, more financially stable and had my nuclear family, and I just can't imagine that there was a time I had normal people concerns and cravings.
I wanted to give her the regular lecture, but I just had to much work and a lot of bills to pay... I'm only getting an artificial time to take a break because the internet (the place I work from) is glitchy.
It's a blessing for me to be able to take a pause, right now I'm taking it slower and trying to handle the simpler things, letting God decide the future and just taking my time to handle the minor things. I don't know when I'll show up again with a post again, perhaps in another 7 or 8 days time.