I finally caved. Finances got to the point where I'm not able to stay at home and write and just work part time janitorial. I got serious about my resume and cover letters and started interviewing for full time jobs.
Man, I hate the very idea of working 9 to 5 again. Of trying to fill the hours in a cubicle, working on reports and sending emails. Of spending all day with strangers when you'd rather be having lunch with your family and friends and teaching your pet new tricks. But I've got bills that must be paid, and there's only so long you can postpone some of them before you come home to no electricity. (That's not until next week, though--don't worry!) And I worry about feeding the cats.
I accepted a job about 3 weeks ago because I knew I could go to work quickly. It's only part time, but the hours could have gradually increased to full time. No benefits. That was a bummer, too. But sometimes you just need the income, right? About the same time, I applied for a full time job with a state organization. I interviewed 3 weeks ago, and got the call on Monday. They offered me the job.
There are mixed feelings about accepting it. Steady, good income will be great. It has all the benefits and perks. I am educated and smart enough to know that I can do this job and be successful. But is it what I really want?
No--if I'm honest, what I really want is to work full time as a writer, and to make a good living doing so. But that's not happening as quickly as I would like. And I'm not so confident as to think I am a great writer. I could live with being a decent writer or a so-so writer. As long as I am writing (doing what I love) and able to support myself and my family, I'm okay with that. I don't require my name being on the bestseller list anywhere (although that would be exciting!) and I could live without paparazzi and television interviews. Shoot, I could live without travel of any kind except maybe to the beach.
So here I am, starting over. Again. And be ready to hear a lot of complaining coming in the next few weeks as they train me and I try to adapt to a foreign work culture, when I'd rather be home writing and sipping tea. My friends here on the site will know of some of my dissatisfaction as I try to make the adjustment--but they'll never guess it at the work site. I'm really good at pretending I'm happy as a clam.
I'm still planning on writing, posting and commenting here on SteemIt, though. I also want to continue to write my flash fiction on Amazon's KDP. I refuse to give up the dream of writing.
