We all lie. It’s a feature specific to the human kind, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a good person who chooses to tell a lie to protect someone’s feelings, or someone who tells lies for a living.
For example, not any parent thinks it’s okay to tell his kid how babies are made or who is Santa Claus. And one of the most common lies we all tell is when we’re answering with “fine” when we’re asked how are we doing.
Some psychologists say that the reason we’re lying is to avoid conflicts, out of convenience, because of an inferiority complex, or simply because we don’t want to upset someone. Even if someone “overlooks” to say something, it’s considered a lie. In many cases, in given de opportunity, a person would normally admit the truth.
In a study it was discovered that 60% of participants lied at least once in a conversation of only 10 minutes. What’s interesting is that the participants thought they were telling the truth. When we get to a point in which we lie without even realizing it, we’re not only deceiving others, but we’re also lying to ourselves.
People who lie to themselves are living in an unreal world. They have an inflexible psychological structure, they only accept perfection. Instead of admitting to the existence of an imperfect reality, they prefer to bend the truth in their favor.
All of these being said, it’s clear that the reasons for lying are multiple and complex and they can variate from simply protecting someone’s feelings, to deceiving others and ourselves because we don’t want to accept the reality, so we create a world that is perfect from our point of view.
But how do we know when someone lies to us? To identify a lie it’s important to consider the reason why someone could lie to us. The best example is that of a child who lies because he’s afraid of being punished.
If you’re convinced that someone has reasons to lie to you and you’re sure that he/she’s hiding the truth, pay attention to their body language.
For example, see if their voice tonality is changed, or if they are looking straight into your eyes.
Most of the times, when a person lies, he can’t look you in the eyes because he’s feeling guilty. Lies can also make people move strangely, because of stress. A liar will either have exaggerated movements, either he won’t move at all.
