Everything matters If you take any situation and just take the word ''only'' and take the word just out of it It changes the whole phrase It's just a game It's a game. It's only a job If you feel like this isn't only a job before this interview is up I advise you to get up and leave right now Because there's somebody else will fill this seat up and take that job and turn it into a career Be careful of those words, trap words, I'm just gonna smoke one cigarette That shows you their preparation for a mental standpoint of how weak they really are There's so many individuals out there that are so talented in different things that never accomplish anything Okay the world is filled with talented people You know a lot of them yourselves And they never accomplish anything With talent has to come preparation, has to come action, has to become development of being able to take those talents. Take those skills Continue to develop them, continue to sharpen them Physically continue to sharpen them mentally because at some point Your physical talent is going to diminish as a professional athlete That's just a fact Okay, but what keeps that competitive edge? What keeps you on top is the ability to think and prepare mentally Over and over and over again. The body has limitations, The mind does not. We focus so much on what goes on from the neck down That we forget it all starts from here Everything starts from here. If you're not mentally ready, You're never really physically prepared And that's where the preparation starts.
I firmly believe that Everybody in this room everybody on this planet Has a gift It's your job to figure out what that gift is Then it becomes your job to decide whether you're going to act on that or not. Everyone sees the work that you put in But it's what you don't see It's going to determine how far you're gonna get. I hear stuff all the time, people say ''oh look in the mirror and you'll see why you're not succeeding''. I don't believe that! Okay? It's what you don't see in the mirror. That's what's holding you back. It's what you're not willing to see is why talent is not enough. And when you when you finally see it and accept it and decide to work on it, then you can take that next level What would your advice be to that 16 year old kid who's staring in the mirror and does not like what he sees, but is still running from adversity? Well my biggest advice to him is that first of all he won't like what I say to him and I'm gonna say the exact opposite of what the world today's world is saying. So we read a bunch of books nowadays as, as Humans we we want to find out how to be someone else What we don't do is we don't go inside. So literally turn yourself inside out read the book That's like we're writing a book every day of our lives, but we never read that book. So what I would challenge this young man Or young women to do is you have to look inside of yourself to see what you really want What are you passionate about?
We use these words and these little phrases of only the strong survive and also the crap There's all just fucking words. I get so tired of hearing people just talking like right now someone may think Gaga is just talking You don't know me so when I speak I speak from passion. I speak from experience. I I speak from suffering I want to tell this young man or woman that the only way I believe this is this my experience in life The only way you're ever going to get to the other side of this journey is you have got to suffer to grow to grow you must suffer and Some people will get it and some people won't But they have to see what their journey is to start their journey Several people live to be a hundred years old and they have great lives And they have great kids the kids go to college and all sort of stuff but somewhere in their life There was a point where they had a decision to make They can go left or right on this path. Left was the easy route Right was a hard route. A lot of people take the easy route, and they had a good life that way But the better life was going to the right side and you may have 20 years of pain and suffering to get past it but a lot of us died never truly starting our journey and I would tell this young person you got to start your journey it may suck, but it will it will come out the other side.
We are coasting. We are all great no matter if if you think you're dumb, and you think you're fat. No matter if you are fat. No matter have you been bullied or no matter if you just got back from Iraq or Afghanistan, and you have no legs or your arms or whatever man. We all have greatness It's just you got to find the courage. You got to find the courage to put your Bose headphones on and Silence the noise out of this world and to find it and the funding comes out there, but it's going to take hard work, courage Self-discipline. It's gonna take all the non cognitive skills All the non-cognitive skills to be great you know smart is good all the stuff is good. That's all cognitive It's the non-cognitive skills that sets you apart from everybody else and And that's what it's all about Your wife, Sunny, said in an interview the problem is most people don't know what they want as a coach What do you say or as a speaker? What do you say to somebody who they don't know what they want? I've got a friend right now who's massively struggling and it's the exact question. I asked him I said, what do you want? What's your passion? What are you trying to accomplish?
He could not answer the question. And so my next question was This is what you have to do first you have to find out what you want, and where you want to go Then we can start formulating the plan You can't formulate a plan and figure out the steps Unless you know where you're trying to go. You'll just spin around in circles, and it'll probably move backwards. How can you go somewhere if you don't know where you're trying to go and what you're trying to achieve? And you have a process that people can use to find that thing?To find that thing, I mean it's gonna be different for every single person Just like my kids with with sports and different things that they're doing they're trying a lot of different things. Allow yourself to have opportunities And here's here's what people do is they get dead set on the journey that they want to take and they're so rigid With how they're gonna get there that they don't See the door over here, and they don't see the bend in the river And they try to cut because they they know they're going right here, and they try to cut through.
Well, what they didn't know is that at this bend of the river there was a paradise and a picnic waiting for them That would have opened up a door maybe their sweetheart was waiting there for them Don't be so rigid with how you're gonna get there because that's how you're gonna discover What your passions are and who and who's who's supposed to be on your journey. And that's that's how truly you're going to discover what your passions are by showing up every day digging, grinding, hustle, whatever you want to call it and being open to all the opportunities. I literally just want to Have people understand that you have to move to start Feeling something and if you move and start feeling something you're on your way to the best version of yourself and the impact that I want to have is just to have the ability to Get you to live outside of The existence that you're in and to open it up to what's truly possible And if I can just get people to understand that you're in your own way and to open up Pandora's box, per say, then you'll truly find what your limits Are and I hope that you don't find your limits that you exceed your limits? At some point we all bought into this lie that you've got to feel Ready in order to change.
Yeah, we bought into this this complete falsehood That at some point you're gonna have the courage, at some point you're gonna have the confidence and it's total bullshit frankly Are we allowed to swear on this show? OK. It's it's complete garbage And so there are so many people in the world and and and you know you may be watching this right now And you have these incredible ideas and what you think is missing is motivation and that's not true because the way that our minds are wired and the fact about human beings is that we are not designed to do things that are uncomfortable or scary or difficult. Our brains are designed to protect us from those things because our brains are trying to keep us alive and in order to change in order to build a business In order to be the best parent, the best spouse, to do all those things that you know you want to do with your life With your work with your dreams. You're gonna have to do things that are difficult Uncertain or scary which sets up this problem for all of us.
You're never gonna feel like it Motivation's garbage. You you only feel motivated to do the things that are easy. Right? What do you think that is? Oh I know exactly why that is because I I've studied this so much because for me one of the hardest things to figure out Was why is it so hard to do the little things that would improve my life and What I've come to realize and what we'll talk a lot about today Is that the way that our minds are designed is our minds are designed to stop you at all costs from doing anything that might hurt you And the way that that that that this all happens is it all starts with something super subtle That none of us ever catch and that is with this habit that all of us have that nobody's talking about We all have a habit of hesitating. Hmm.. We have an idea, you're sitting in a meeting, you have this incredible idea and instead of just, You know, saying it, you stop and you hesitate. Now what none of us realize is that when you hesitate just that moment that micro moment that small Hesitation it sends a stress signal to your brain.
It wakes your brain up and your brain all of a sudden goes Oh, wait a minute wait. Why is he hesitating? He didn't hesitate when he put on his killer spiky sneakers He didn't hesitate with the really cool track pants. He didn't hesitate with the NASA tee shirt now He's hesitating to talk something must be up. So then your brain goes to work to protect you. It has a million different ways to protect you. One of them is called the spotlight effect it's a known phenomenon where your brain magnifies risk. Why? To pull you away from something that it perceives to be a problem and so You can truly Trace every single problem or complaint in your life to silence and hesitation Those are decisions and what I do, and what's changed my life is waking up and realizing that motivation's garbage I'm never gonna feel like doing the things that are tough for difficult or uncertain or scary or new so I need to stop waiting until I feel like it and number two I am one decision away from a totally different marriage, a totally different life, a totally different job, a totally different income, a totally different Relationship with my kids. Not like one decision: ''I'm divorcing you'' in in the marriage example, but one decision on you know you could be having a conversation with your spouse and you feel your emotions rise up and within a tiny window those emotions Can take over and can impact how your marriage goes or you can learn how to take control of that micro moment and make a decision to act in a way that actually shifts your marriage.
Your life comes down to your decisions And if you change your decisions you will change everything There's a lot of Push towards being a workaholic and hard work as a learned behavior. I see it in my team There's people that come into my I've seen it in the thousands of employees I've had, which is the closer they are to the Sun, the harder they work. And I'm like ''Aha'' and so I definitely feel like I learned hard work by watching my parents and so It's why I talk so much about hustle Because it's one of the things that people can actually adjust and turn to. I watch people give advice completely predicated on Natural talent and DNA and I'm like look like I get it like I can throw a football every day for nine hours a day I'm just not physically built to be competitive at the highest levels. So yeah, I do think you know if anybody watching right now. If there's anything they take away It's like look like you're gonna only be so pretty, you're only gonna be so smart like you like there's there's things that are gonna be natural and There's things that you can actually control. I do believe and I don't know if I'm right or wrong I don't but I do believe that work ethic is a taught behavior.
It's something you do have more control over And yeah, I think and you know what would really seal the deal for me? Getting healthier! I Was 38 years old and didn't come natural to me like it didn't come natural to me at all I hate the gym. I hate it now. I hate it. I don't like it. I don't want to do it But I but I knew it was important and somewhere around midway through being 38 years old I got serious I figured out my system. I made the financial commitment and I've won. Right? And I'll never lose again because the system was I needed to be accountable to another human being So it was about Mike and now Jordan and whoever else is my trainer I'm doing it almost weirdly more to not let them down Then to... and so that was the shift and so I feel like there's a shift that can make people work harder The big one that I push is you're going die. Like like if your complaint like to me life is broken down into complaining and not so if you're not complaining well, then I have no advice for you, but I'm pumped like you did it like like I've friends who make $42,000 a year Work 9:00 to 4:00 kind of with an hour and a half lunch and 45 minutes of YouTube and ten minutes of bullshitting and an hour of Complete waste of time in a meeting so they're kind of working like six, you know, hours a week, right?
But But but they're pumped and and and they text me these are high school friends And they'll text me like how happy they are to be the coach of their kids baseball team And you know like that's amazing like that seems very obvious to me like that's like that's right like You know it's super weird. I'm actually wierdly envious You know like I it sounds cool like in theory right grass is always greener right like far less pressure you know like Like all that time with my kids. Pfuu, that would be cool! Like there's just like all these things that I can justify So to me, but I have friends who have a hundred million dollars in the bank because of Facebook's IPO Who complain, who are still hungry, Who want to do even more Who will complain to me because they know I work a lot about no work-life balance And they don't get to spend enough time with their family, and I'm like you have a hundred million dollars Like you could stay home like you're in control. Like, don't complain about it! You've made that choice Don't bullshit me like you want to spend more time with your family? Spend more time with your family! This is back to what we said about keyboard warriors I'm trying to be very careful about what I'm saying versus what I'm doing because that's how you get exposed And I don't mean like people calling you out and being like you suck. I mean to yourself I don't want to be exposed by myself It's it's it's looking at yourself in the mirror and saying like ''Am I doing this right?'' So to me there's so many people there talking shit about how big of an entrepreneur they're gonna be and how much they're gonna achieve and they don't work on weekends You know I worked every Saturday of my 20s like and I talked to 20 year old entrepreneurs every single day. Lately I've been saying to them: ''This Saturday you're gonna have more time off than I've had in my entire 20's on a Saturday.'' So like before you tell me how you're gonna be bigger than me start thinking about what you're actually doing.