Hey everyone. I started my Steem account several months back and soon lost interest, but I've decided to come back and give it another go. Since this is an interduction post I'll tell you a bit about myself and I'll try my best to make it interesting. Let me know what you think, criticisms and all. I love conversation and I'm hoping that we can get to know each other a little. I think Steem has a lot of potential to be a very interesting community.
So, about me. I live in Texas and have spent half of my life here and half in Louisiana. I love both places but don't care for the weather in either. I grew up very poor, my parents divorced when I was 7 and my life became very unstable from then on. My family, older brother, older sister, and mother, moved around a lot so I never really had that feeling of having a stable home.
I'm not at all close with my family. There was a lot of physical and emotional abuse in my family and I think that it's created a permanent rift between us all. We were in a cult from the time I was born which I believe contributed to the disfunction that was already fertile in our family.
Due to my history and unfortunate genetics I've developed severe psychological disorders and am on disabilty. I work very hard at trying to overcome the hurdles that are keeping me from persuing any semblance of a normal life, but it's a constant struggle.
I'm riddled with anxiety, depression, and a number of other problems that have kept me from feeling well enough, or even motivated enough, to persue any of my once loved passions.
After years of counseling and dozens of medications it was my GP who finally made a suggestion that struck a chord with me. It was so simple. Do whatever nice things you're able to do for other people. By getting outside of yourself, keeping your focus on others, you are focused less on your own problems.
It was such a simple and self evident truth, that whatever you are focused on will be compounded further into your thoughts, emotions, motivations, etc. Even if you're unconsciously focused on the negative aspects of your life they will be no less compounded by it.
I had to decide to make the conscious effort to focus on others. And, of course, if that focus that you're putting on others is something positive, ie doing something nice for them, then a positive mindset will be emphasized as your negative mindset is being deemphasized.
I'm currently working on this, it's very difficult due to having been negatively self-conditioned for most of my life. But as I find these little nice things to do for others, even very small things, I've noticed tremendous changes in my mood and abilty to direct myself toward more fulfilling activities, rather than just being in a constant state of misery.
Unfortunely I'm still pretty limited by what I'm able to do for others because I still have such a difficult time even leaving the house, driving, talking to people, etc. due to my overwhelming anxiety. I take the opportunity to converse with people online who are having problems, feeling bad, whatever. I've found that this is the most fulfilling thing that I'm currently, easily able to do.
So, if anyone has any suggestions or simply wants to talk, please comment. And if you're going through anything I'd be happy to talk with you about them here or wherever you're more comfortable. Both talking through problems and listening to them are essential aspects of humanity and unfortunetly we tend to avoid this in our culture. In the West, anyway. So let's change that. lets talk. Tell me what's on your mind.