Is it possible to fall in love with a person?

Is it possible to fall in love with a person? Science answers - yes

This is one of the most important issues in the field of romantic relationships, which for sure almost everyone of us asked. A huge number of studies conducted over many years have proved that we really can control love. in fact formally it is the same basic psychological emotion as fear, joy, pity, etc., which are quite amenable to regulation if they are well studied. So how can one learn how to evoke in others a feeling of love and affection with the knowledge of psychology and psychological tricks?
psychologists found out that in fact, love is not just about "destiny." It is the joint work of biological, chemical and psychological mechanisms that can be studied, learned about them and successfully used for their own purposes.

the main thing, you need to realize that another person should have at least some minimal sympathy for you. Then it will be possible to successfully and quickly turn this favor into real and deeper feelings.

1. Do not treat ice cream on the first date.

social psychologist John Barg, who works at Yale University, is primarily concerned with the role of automatism and unconscious processing in social behavior. several of his studies revealed a curious natural relationship between the temperature of the human body and its psychological state.

It turned out that when we are warm physically, we also tend to behave more affectionately and friendly towards other people. this cunning can be very useful, for example, on the first date, when it is especially important to maximally place a man to yourself. Therefore, it is worth remembering this and in the future give preference to warm places, dishes and drinks, so that any meeting (be it business or romantic) went smoothly.

1. Advantages of long eye contact

Harvard psychologist Zek Rubin in one of his studies set out to understand whether it is possible to measure love. He found the answer in the views, or rather, in their frequency and duration. the psychologist found out that deeply in love couples look at each other 75% of the time during a conversation, and also rather slowly and reluctantly tear off a look when someone dares to violate their privacy. In the usual conversation people look at each other from 30 to 60% of the time.

However, looking into the eyes can be not only a consequence of falling in love, but also become its root cause. Looking at someone as long and often, you deceive the human brain, as he remembers that this is a "loving look", and therefore thinks that here, figuratively speaking, he smelled romantic. because of this the nervous system begins to produce the hormone phenylethylamine, which in turn evokes the sensations that we experience during the first love: "butterflies in the stomach", palms sweat, the heart dances in the dance. Well, how can I resist?

1. Tell something awkward about yourself

It is obvious that an open and sociable person initially has more chances to win sympathy than a secret beech. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in that, fearlessly sharing details about yourself and your life, you successfully have an interlocutor with you.

according to a study conducted by Harvard Business School scientists, 79% of the subjects preferred to be on a date with an outspoken and sincere person who is not inclined to conceal or hide something, even if it is a question of strange habits and tastes, embarrassing situations that have happened to them, and even negative character traits.because it acts in the same way as secrets: when we tell a secret, a special relationship arises between us and the interlocutor based on trust and understanding.

1. Do not do anything. Better let's do something for you

Doing a good deed or a favor, we feel better. we are satisfied with ourselves and we feel very warm emotions towards the person who has just been helped. Justifying our actions or expenses, we often idealize the object of our generosity and convince ourselves that they are worthy of such a relationship as no one else. as a result, an emotional anchor is created and a person begins to like us even more.

On the other hand, when someone does something for us, we are pleased. But other emotions also come into play - and not all of them are positive. In general, there is a sense of "duty" and the need to repay something. all is complicated when the gesture comes from a person who we do not really like or is completely unhappy with. So it is worth bearing in mind this psychological effect, a little understanding of your desire to give the beloved the whole world and to start giving you the opportunity to give something to you to consolidate his feelings.

1. Think of one for two secret language

In fact, we are talking about all sorts of specific jokes, words and gestures that appear in people when they find common interest or become really close. perhaps you like the same movie, a humorous show, a song, a book or even a meme. Or maybe a joke appeared spontaneously during your date, walk or just another meeting - it should not be dismissed and ignored.

finding, fixing and using a similar phrase in your everyday communication, you will transfer the relationship to a deeper level, they will become even stronger and more "intimate". This conclusion was reached by scientists from the University of Texas in their study. we all want to see ourselves as special and unique, and such a "secret language" just allows us to feel ourselves not one of many, but the only one with whom there is such a level of mutual understanding.

1. The size of the pupil matters

in one of the studies of the 60-70s, scientists studied the effect of pupil size on the attractiveness of a person. They showed the men 2 photographs of the same woman. The photos were identical except for one small detail - on one pupil the ladies were enlarged. in the end, men felt that it was on this edited photo that the woman looks more affectionate, feminine and sweet. Although none of them paid attention and did not notice the difference in the eyes.

This effect can be played artificially. you, of course, can not only by their desire to influence their pupils, but they are quite capable of creating suitable conditions. For example, just mute the light. Use candles instead of regular lighting. Or, in advance, think about going to a restaurant that is famous for its relaxing atmosphere.

1. Most often be near ... but then cause a deficit

In a world of dreams, anyone can approach the subject of their sighing, declare their attitude and love and immediately get a mutual feeling. In the real world, everything is not so simple, so people have to play games.

certainly, to spend more time at first, especially when sympathy is mutual, it is necessary. To get to know each other better, make contact, have time to complete several previous paragraphs of this article, and in the end, in general, to understand if the game is worth the candle. but after a series of meetings and visits, psychologists recommend a little move away (even if you really do not want to), create a distance and a shortage of your presence in the life of the couple. This move performs several functions at once:

does not allow us to be oversaturated with each other (it is known that over time, feelings become dull, but that they do not fade away altogether, it is worthwhile to go ahead and become less available for pastimes for a certain period of time), makes it feel to another person how pleasant and important for him became yourscommunication (after all, according to the "deficit principle", rare, unique or limited objects cause people the greatest demand), gives you the opportunity to take your own emotions under control and think sensibly.

1. Associate with the chosen one with something good

A methodical and persistent repetition of the same thoughts and attitudes can program a foreign brain in accordance with their desires. That's why it's so important to choose the right words and expressions in communication with people who are important to us.

almost the same principle can be used for the benefit of your image. If someone says your name in the company, what do you think people will think first of all? Do they see you as single-minded, cheerful, self-confident or, perhaps, sad or always complaining? the better you present yourself, the more positive thoughts you will call the chosen one, even when you are not around. It does not matter if you are so positive in fact (we all have shortcomings). It is important only how you are perceived, and, most importantly, how you want to be perceived.