I was at my local Superstore today and decided to visit the mobile kiosk to upgrade my phone. The young man who served me seemed a little unkempt; not like he wasn't clean or anything, but his shirt sleeves were unbuttoned and flapping around his wrists and his pants were baggy; his belt was even twisted in the back. I don't like to mention this because it might be interpreted that I am judging him, but that's not the case--I am very detail oriented and it was just what I noticed about his appearance.
He was quite talkative and I was recovering from a migraine...anyone who has them knows how groggy and dim-witted you can feel after the pain is gone. I wasn't feeling overly sociable, but I wanted to be kind, so I responded to his lighthearted chatter.
I asked him if he knew of the proper way to dispose of old cell phones and he offered to buy my old one; his son is autistic and playing electronic games helps keep him calm sometimes. If the device happens to get misplaced, he always tries to have a back up to keep his son from getting upset.
While growing up and until the last decade or so, I never had much contact with or understanding of autism or similar conditions. But knowing what I know now, this young man's story captivated me. It didn't take much encouragement for him to share with me.
He talked about how hard his 10 year-old son has to work to perform the simplest tasks, tasks that his 4 year-old brother can do with little or no difficulty. And just when he seems to have mastered something, he forgets it just as quickly, and they have to start it all over again.
He said other parents and even the school principal has judged him and his wife when others don't know the whole story and all they have tried to do for their son just to get him where he is today.
He talked about the future and wondered how his son will make out as an adult. While in high school, my son tutored an autistic boy and he had been able to eventually take a course at community college and, while still living at home, he is now capable of looking after himself. When he heard it, this young father gave a big sigh and smiled, telling me that gave him such hope for his son.
I also told him about an app developed for non-verbal autistic children that my niece is using to communicate with her parents and teachers. My niece is the same age as his youngster.
When he finished my paperwork for the new phone, he thanked me for listening to him. I assured him I would be thinking of his son and his family from now on....I'll be praying. I believe in it and that it changes things.
A comment I received from a facebook friend on a shorter version of this post is the title for this blog post. She knows pain. She was infertile for a long time and finally got pregnant in 2013.
Her little boy died the day before his due date. I still can't imagine the pain of that loss. I can't imagine how she goes on day after day, only having held a tiny corpse after 9 months of feeling him alive inside her, until he wasn't alive. But she does it.
My intention was not to be morose or macabre here. I just want to remind anyone reading this that everyone has a story, and none of us knows what road others are travelling in their journey of life.
Always be kind. You never know who needs it. Always be thankful and always count your blessings. Here is one of my biggest blessings, my 9-month granddaughter, Charlotte.
Take care all!