This post is going to be very different than the stuff I usually write about.
This week I was unable to do much writing for steemit. There is a good reason behind that, and for your amusement, I would like to share a story with you..
Introduction
After a day of working, brainstorming, exercise, recreational cycling and reading, what better way to finish the day than by going to town to meet some friends.
It was Monday the 25th of July. As usual, because of public transportation schedules, I was well ahead of time - and had about 1h30 to kill.
And so I headed to the hill, a prime spot for watching the sun slowly go down over the river, at which point the temperature usually appears to drop drastically, even in summer.
A kebab and a couple of 30-min podcasts later, it was time to head to the city center. I would have gone even later, but after the sun sets, it is really not so pleasant up in the hill.
As usual, I arrived to the meeting point about half an hour earlier.
Street music
As I sat there people watching, a street musician came and set up shop in front of a restaurant packed with tourists.
For the next fifteen minutes or so, he entertained them with what I later came to know was his own original music.
It was a style I do not particularly appreciate, but even then - it was agreeable noise.
Just as he was packing, some of my friends begun arriving. One of them sports dreadlocks, something this elusive street musician had in common with him.
Perhaps due to that, the musician headed to our group right after packing.
He was a young guy, probably mid-twenties, with shoulder-length dreadlocked hair, and a tan.
Probably from Southern Europe, I thought.
His introduction (in heavy Italian accent) to us was:
"Hello guys! Do you have any weed?"
I chuckled. My weed-smoking days are long, long gone, and, stereotypes aside, not even the guy with dreadlocks in our group smokes anymore (really.)
The musicians eyes looked a little bit puffy and red, which led me to believe that he had been busy scoring earlier as well.
"No, but you are welcome to join us", one of us said.
For the next couple of hours we got to talk with this guy (let's call him Francesco) on and off, and he told us of his life playing music in the street and how it was what he chose, after studying music in the conservatory.
For the last year he had been traveling all over Europe, playing in the streets, making some money, staying for some time and then moving on, finally having made his way to this area.
He seemed happy. A bit off ("Maybe just stoned", I thought), but happy.
An untimely request
I lived in Asia a couple of years ago. Lately my travels have led me elsewhere, but there I made a few good friends and we have stayed in touch online since.
One of them is actually passing by as she travels this summer.
Months ago, when she made the announcement, we agreed to meet up when the time comes.
I write this Thursday 28th of July, and the last update I had had, late last week, was that she would be coming in tomorrow (29th) evening.
So it was with some uncertainty that I agreed to take Francesco home for a couple of days - he said that cash was a bit low and the hotel he was staying at would quickly eat through the budget in just another day or two.
He needed a place to stay ideally until Sunday - someone he knows from around here will be coming back by then, and he will have a place to stay - but I told him from the get go that at most I could host him until Saturday.
He seemed ok with this, even if he had to go Friday night.
Preparations
As all of his stuff was at the hotel (very far from the city center, cheaper I guess), we agreed to meet in town the next day, and we would take public transportation to my place.
Nothing else to say about that, it is exactly how it happened.
Francescos' stay
(believe me, the image will make sense..)
Introduction
I am very organized when it comes to keeping the house in order. As a frequent traveler, it gives me solace when I come back here and things are clean, in their place, orderly..
It is just overall more pleasant not living in dirty surroundings for me. At least while at home - it is my sanctuary.
At the same time, being used to having people over, I understand that not everyone is like this, and that for a few days here and there, my preferences might not be fully respected. That is ok - up to a point.
Until now, that point had never been reached!
Arrival
It was around 01:30 in the morning when we arrived.
Usually I get up around 6-7, so this is pretty late for me.
We walked in, and..
It started with the shoes.
I informed Francesco that past the entrance it was a no shoes zone. There are several pairs of slippers available for guests right in front of the entrance area.
He said ok, distracted himself with something, and promptly begun walking into the living room, shoes on - leaving marks on the floor and bits of dirt and sand everywhere.
I took a deep breath, and reminded him (fifteen seconds after the first time) to please remove the shoes and leave them at the entrance.
There is a neat line of shoes at a corner.
He left his shoes in the middle of the entrance hall.
And then ignored the slippers and started walking with just his socks on.
It was more or less by then that I noticed a foul, foul smell - clearly this guy was traveling only with a pair of shoes, and who knows when was the last time he had washed his clothes.
Not wanting to embarrass him, I politely suggested that perhaps it is better to leave the shoes outside. Some air and some sunlight the next morning should fix it.
He would have none of it! And simply replied that the shoes were better inside (his English was a bit patchy here and there). I guess he feared his only pair of shoes being stolen by a naughty cat or something.
As if anyone would get near those shoes..
Alright, I thought to myself .. and after politely reminding him three times to use the slippers, and showing him around, I opened all the windows, because the stench was really becoming unbearable by now.
I do not know that he noticed it himself.
After that, I politely (and indirectly) suggested that perhaps he should shower, to which he replied, "Aah, tomorrow! I am so tired!"
"Oh, dear", I thought to myself.
"Sure! I will teach you how to turn the hot water on in the morning"
I opened the windows even more.
After making sure he was set up, we said goodnight, and I went to the bathroom to take a dump.
In the bathroom there are two lights, and correspondingly, two light switches.
He did not notice the closed door or one of the light switches being on, or even the light coming from under the door, when a few minutes later, he attempted to come in (leaving me in the dark as he flipped the switch).
Good thing I have an unconscious habit of locking the bathroom door when there are guests around, or that could have been a very awkward moment.
By now, with the tiredness added to it, it was beginning to get to me. I caught myself milliseconds before yelling at him to pay attention to detail.
Instead, I took a deep breath, waited for him to realize the mistake and turn the light back on (nope, never happened).
He simply walked back to the living room (where he was going to sleep), no apology, nothing.
Heh.
I finished my business in the dark, got up and turned the damn light on, brushed my teeth, and went to bed.
Wednesday
The first thing I remember noticing when I got up to urinate was that my toothpaste was not where I left it.
Also, the whole floor was stained with toothpaste.
I took a deep breath, and cleaned the stains.
And made a mental note to buy toothpaste later - and hide it.
The toothpaste was not the only thing that our protagonist felt free to use.
As I opened the fridge, a curious scenario emerged.
The giant ball of cheese I had there had shrunk by a respectable 75% overnight, a strange phenomenon never before observed around here.
I was also pretty sure it was not a rat that ate three bananas .. and left the peels lying around on the kitchen table (why use the trash bin! it's just for decoration, obviously).
Frankly it bothered me more that he did not bother putting the peels in the bin rather than pillaging the cheese - he was my guest, and he was probably hungry, maybe a bit too much cheese, but hey, whatever.. leaving trash around, on the other hand ..
But well. I put the peels where they belong and made some breakfast, but not before burning more incense all throughout the house than at a chinese funeral, because as you might recall, at this point our friend had still not showered.
Last night Francesco said he would be up by 10:00 or 11:00 AM. Presently it was still 8:30ish, so I went for a walk, watered the plants outside, bought some toothpaste and random veggies, and came back before 10:00.
He was still sleeping when I came back, but something was off.
There was something missing.
"Oh dear."
Nevermind that cable!
You see, the Bitsquare software that I recommended here needs to be left online when there are orders to be filled.
Since I happened to have a few orders, I left the laptop on in the kitchen, where I had done some reading and the daily early-morning crypto market check.
For the life of me, I still cannot understand why on earth he did not use one of the four sockets available in the living room .. perhaps he got up and, being thirsty, took his phone and charger, and just used the one in the kitchen, as he helped someself to some water.. but anyway.
What happened is that, totally ignoring the fact that there is a fucking laptop running, he unplugged my laptop from the socket and connected his phone charger!
Now, this laptop has served me well for many years, but the battery is a bit old, so it does not really last much longer than 1h anymore if not plugged in.
And that is if it was idling. Which it was not.
So that is the something different I subconsciously noted almost as soon as I walked in .. the fan noise was missing.
I admit that at this point, graphical thoughts of murder entered my consciousness. I am a computer guy, had 30+ programs running, some of them with unsaved data, and several browser windows set to private mode (which means the tabs were gone forever) ..
I almost punched the table but then I realized almost immediately that this guy was not being antagonistic or malicious, he was simply clueless.
Very, very clueless.
Breakfast
Well, 11:00 came and went, by 12:30 he finally arose from his slumber, and promptly resumed walking barefoot (unshowered), leaving marks all over the floor.
"Francesco, could you use the slippers when you walk? The floor gets dirty really easily, thank you"
I explained to him, as we gathered in the kitchen for breakfast, the situation with the laptop. He apologized profusely, saying he did not realize, because he was so sleepy.
For breakfast he wanted some banana (apparently a huge fan). I handed him one, and asked if he wanted coffee (which he had asked about last night).
I am not a coffee drinker, it is too good and I always end up drinking 5-6 a day just to feel normal, so I find it easier to just not have the good stuff around.
Nevertheless, I bought some Nescafe earlier that morning.
"Oh! I do not like Nescafe ..", he said, as I was beginning to prepare it.
"Well.. but do you want it, or not?", I retorted, annoyed (how ungrateful can you be?) but concealing it.
He went ahead and accepted the coffee.
And left the banana peel on the kitchen table.
"You know, there is a trash bin right over there..."
"Oh, I am sorry, I am sorry! I see it."
Figuring that a banana would not be enough, I asked if he wanted some oatmeal.
He appeared a bit confused (maybe he did not know the word in english), so I showed him the oatmeal, but he still seemed confused.. just as I was about to put it back, he said, "OK, I will have it!"
I had never seen anyone put oatmeal in a cup of coffee and eating it out of a spoon, but I guess it works.
Well, at this stage it was too late to go for the morning walk (it was the afternoon already ..) we had talked about in the previous evening, so I informed him that I had to go and do some computer work for an hour or two.
I also told him that by 3PM he had to be gone (he was going to town to busk and come back around 10PM - 12AM), as I had a few errands to run and had to be ready to leave by then.
Francesco asked if I had a spare key.
"Unfortunately not" - I said, as I recalled where I had left the spare key to make sure it was out of sight - "but that is not a problem - I will give you my number and directions to come back, you just have to leave before 3 PM and come back after 10PM, and it is not a problem"
He did not seem to grasp this, so I explained once again that I had to leave by 3PM the latest (actually at 5PM, but I could see the writing on the wall..) but I was coming back again around 7PM before leaving again at 8PM to come back around 10PM, so I needed the key, and since he was not coming back until at least 10PM, I would be home by the time he got back.
Still did not click. I dumbed down the english a little bit more and eventually he understood.
Lunchtime
Well, the day before we said that lunch would be around 12:00 - 12:30, but clearly this was not going to be the case, it was already past 12:00.
Francesco informed that he would like to shower (YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and after turning the hot water on for him, I came back to the computer to work.
He said that he would cook the most wonderful pasta in the world after showering.
Working
Well, I was lost in my computer world at this point, and at some point I had to go to the bathroom.
It was by pure luck that I realized in time that Francesco was showering with the bathroom door open, as I heard the water from the shower, or I could have seen something that I really would prefer not to see.
(I searched long and hard for a Bugs Bunny facepalm, because the situation bugged me.. ok, maybe not that funny. moving on)
Not that it mattered, because he later walked to the living room stark naked as I was coming back with a glass of water from the kitchen .....
Ah yes, the kitchen. That reminds me - all the dishes from breakfast were just laid there, apparently someone else would have to clean them.
Which brings us to...
The most interesting pasta in the world
(most shameless and nonsensical #bitshares plug, ever)
1PM came and went, and by 2PM the mythical pasta was finally ready.
I took a deep breath as I saw what I could only describe as a graveyard of vegetable remains lying around on the kitchen counter (guess he forgot where the bin is again), and a knocked over salt shaker, with an interesting pool of olive oil and salt next to it .. some of the olive oil streaming down from the counter to the floor.
"This pasta better be good", I said to myself, as I smiled and headed to the living room.
I had a spoonful.
It was the most tasteless food I have had in a long, long time.
"Is the pasta good?"
"Yes, very awesome! Wow!", I said sarcastically, in dogespeak, which I did not expect Francesco to get (he did not).
Ah well. We still had a good conversation, for all his carelessness the guy has an interesting story, after all.
Afternoon
As we finished the food and put the dishes back in the kitchen (by now it was certain his pretty hands would not be touching any of the dirty dishes), I reminded him that in just a few hours was the cutoff point and that he had to be ready to go out before then.
I stayed in the kitchen cleaning up the gigantic mess, until another offensive smell entered my nostrils....
This time...
....
.....
...
...
...
I smelled smoke!
Imagine my surprise when, tracing the smell, I end up in the living room and see Francesco light up a fat joint.
"WTF, man!", I said, this time not being able to hide my exasperation - "No smoking inside!!"
He took his time with the hit, finally exhaling and once again profusely apologizing (gotta love the priorities here..).
He was, of course, also walking barefoot again.
I directed him to the window and this time very sternly told him to smoke leaning outside, and to not let any smoke in (I am an ex-smoker, the smell of tobacco greatly annoys me even after all those years).
It took coming in from the kitchen another two times and very clearly telling him to either put the joint down or not let any smoke in.
As I was finishing up with the kitchen, what do I hear?
Francesco had helped himself to my electric guitar!
The only reason I did not shout at him and order him to put the damn guitar down and ask for permission before picking it up was that he was actually pretty good with it.
More stoned than an unfaithful muslim woman, he played and sung what came out to be quite enjoyable music. Out of anything else, that was the moment that made all the fuck-ups worth it.
"I will-ee chill-ee ah litteleee bit-eehh..", he said in his Italian accent, "before going out-ee"
"No problem. Remember the time, it is time to go in an hour or so"
You can already imagine what happened next.
The clock is ticking!
Here and there I went to the living room and reminded him that I really had to leave at a certain time, and he really had to be gone before that.
Variations of "no problem" is all I ever got in response.
I have been around stoners often enough and in another life, may even have been a stoner myself. I know time can be an abstract concept when you are in that state.
Well, the cutoff point got closer and closer, until it got past the time, at which point I had to essentially kick him out for the rest of the afternoon. Like herding sheep.
We went out to the bus stop, where I restated the instructions to get to town and back, what the nearest, simplest bus stop nearby was (in the dark of night, the one we were at would be hard to find - instead I wrote down the name of a nearby landmark, just one stop away, that the bus driver would be sure to recognize)
A few iterations of "it is really just over there - a straight line, you just walk from there to here, and then another two minutes in a straight line, and you will be back to my place!" later, and I saw him off.
Finally, some time alone.
Change of plans
As I happened to check email, an unexpected message popped up in my inbox.
It was my friend from Asia. She was arriving a whole day ahead of schedule!
Rather than Friday evening, she would be arriving around 10PM Thursday (the day I am writing this).
Fuck!
It was obvious Francesco had to go. Before I got to know him a bit, I had even considered letting their stays overlap for a day, but that was already entirely out of the question by Wednesday morning already.
But now? This would shorten his stay to tonight (Thursday). And he only had a place to stay on Sunday.
I frantically sent a few messages and made a few calls to friends around here.
One hour later, I had found a place for him to stay.
Francesco returns
Unable or unwilling to find something to eat in town, I offered him the only thing I could offer in my tired state (it was close to midnight) - more bananas. He gladly ate another bunch.
After exchanging pleasantries about how our afternoons and evening went by, I told him of the change of plans. He was happy that I found another place for him to stay, and I replied that it could not be otherwise, because I knew of his money problems.
Even though I had promised nothing - he knew the deal when he decided to come, I still felt it was my duty to find him a place until Sunday.
We more or less agreed to have breakfast around 9AM, and said goodnight to each other.
Thursday
By 7AM I was already up. Making as little noise as possible, I fixed myself some breakfast and went out for a short walk in nature.
It is really peaceful here in the morning. The sun was already shining strong, the day not yet very hot. Perfect time to walk.
When I came back, and after watering the plants for the morning, it was time to check the markets, review the ToDo list for the day, and drink some decaf.
Francesco showed no signs of waking up at 9AM for breakfast, but this I had already accounted for when I had breakfast earlier on my own.
Deciding what to do with my morning this fine summer day, I figured, why not share this story with the community. Hopefully you will find it as fun to read as it was fun for me living through it (in retrospect :-D)
Going AFK
So, this morning I have been busy writing this, and when he finally woke up around 11AM, I almost, almost said.. "Good morning, Francesco!"
That would have been tough to explain :-)
We are going out for another walk, and around 3PM it is time for Francesco to leave.
Conclusions
This was easily my most challenging guest, probably ever.
For a brief, brief moment, there I sympathized with Nixon.
I know it was not out of malice that he acted the way he acted, and having dated artists before, I know how messy they can be (for some reason, it is not immediately obvious) with the mundane day-to-day stuff. And yes, I know.. correlation does not imply causation and all that.
In spite of all of this, we have exchanged contacts, and if I am ever in Italy, who knows, I might contact him.
tldr
Damn hippies.