Where Can't I Be?

If everything is aware and doing things according to what they know, where can't I be? Where this I is the point of awareness that acts according to whatever knowledge it already knows. If everything is aware in existence, where can this I not be existing? I can't think of any part of existence that would be an awareness vacuum. And if every part of existence, where the human is 0.01 percent of all life, is equal to my awareness, what am I doing when I am attracted to anything? And I can't think of another way to answer it but by separating myself from what I see, either making that thing exclusive and/or diminishing myself unable to see myself as its equal. When the option to try to be its equal always exists, I see when I can't see myself as anything, for example the beauty I see as females, I'm giving up before I even tried. When the option to try always exists, I do life a great service when I suck up my excuses to try. To try to attempt to foster and see the same aspects in me, no matter how small.

Beside me at all times is a physical reality. This reality shows me when things aren't done best for everyone, but this reality shows it to me passively, meaning if I maintain a direction that is self righteous and denies the obvious of what I am being and becoming, I can't see reality showing me. I am my greatest enemy. There's nothing in existence that casts a safe net or provides lesser consequences for what I do. So much of my existence is invisible in the invincible mind, that I am the only one that is stopping me from turning bad. My life has been an example for me of how easy it is to trust an idea of yourself and be stubborn, how easy it is to believe something and make it real ignoring how my actions are destroying what's real, thinking I am right and good, meanwhile I was wrong. You really become part of the problem the moment you believe something, about yourself or others, and deny its existence or its influence that has become you.