There are many instances where men grow up being taught they need to impress or “woo” a woman. This can lead some men to chase women who have no interest in them. Sometimes, these men end up hurt and confused, unable to understand why the woman isn’t reciprocating.
Even a woman playing “hard to get” won’t continue if you walk away, and she feels she’s in a position to lose you. She will drop that act quickly. But ask yourself: do you want to date someone who plays head games? Matthew Hussey, often seen as a women’s dating coach, has a great quote: “Invest, then test.” Follow this!
A woman who is into you will reciprocate. Her energy and efforts might look different from yours—she probably won’t buy you flowers or open doors for you—but she’ll respond to your messages and be happy to see you.
In Relationships
I’ve often seen men stay with women who don’t like them. Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell, especially if you provide resources like a place to live. Toxic partners (of any gender) may drag out relationships to benefit from what the other person offers.
I’ve also talked to men who wanted to forgive a cheating partner because they genuinely loved the person. But in many cases, the partner stays for the benefits, not love.
**Know when to leave, **even if you love her deeply. If the feelings aren’t mutual, it’s not worth it.
Be Clear About Who You Are and Your Expectations
If it’s your style, take the lead in the relationship. Many women are attracted to men who can plan and lead, though not everyone fits this mold. A woman often wants to give her input even with a natural leader.
Know what you want from the relationship. Many women find it attractive when a man knows precisely what he’s looking for and communicates it honestly upfront.
Miscommunication can leave women (and men) in long-term relationships under false assumptions, so clear communication benefits everyone.
While some of this might seem old-fashioned, it reflects the current reality of dating. Also, bonus points: women love it when you can confidently pick what to eat!
Be Yourself, But Find Balance
“But Lin, they never accept me when I’m myself.”
Yes, I know! But there’s a difference. Sometimes men come on too strong, too quickly, which can overwhelm the woman.
There’s a happy medium between “being yourself” and moving too fast. Relationships need time to evolve naturally. Balance honesty and openness with patience. For example, saving conversations about your baggage or toxic exes for later is not dishonest.
Relationships grow over time. You don’t marry someone after the first date. You build the relationship step by step.
The first date should be lighthearted and fun, with maybe a little dabbling in serious topics. Please pay attention to her body language; her comfort level depends on many factors.
First dates can be awkward, and that’s okay! Sometimes, it takes a few dates to see if someone is a good fit or not.
Don’t Chase Her
This can’t be emphasized enough: there’s a difference between showing interest and chasing someone. If she’s not reciprocating, leave the ball in her court.
**For example, **I’ve seen men stop texting a woman because she didn’t reply, only to have her reach out later because she was genuinely busy.
On the other hand, I’ve also seen men relentlessly pursue a woman who isn’t interested, which rarely ends well.
Pay attention to subtle signs early on. A woman who’s interested in you will show it. If she turns down your invitation, she’ll likely reschedule or suggest another time.
Grandiose gestures early in the relationship often backfire, attracting women who are only interested in what you can give or raising doubts about your intentions.
Instead of overthinking, focus on developing yourself—your hobbies, interests, and friendships. A well-rounded life makes you more interesting when the right person comes along.
Don’t Hide Your Intentions
Within reason, of course. For example, don’t declare your love on the first date. But don’t ask her to “hang out” if what you really want is a date. Women respect honesty and will notice when you’re holding back.
Being straightforward gives you peace of mind because it forces clarity—she’ll either accept or reject you, and you’ll know where you stand.