Even though many of us have been through so much in life, We often forget basic things. That really dictate our life, And they are often out of our control.
Stop Thinking You Can Control Everything
Sometimes we forget, In our lives everything seems to be within our control. So when something bad happens, Our instinct is to do something to fix the issue. While This proactive thinking is incredibily helpful. At times it just hurts us. Allowing ourselves to feel somewhat “powerless” to the situation can often help us get through it. When Laura passed away, I was sad, Angry, And I was dealing with a lot of mixed emotions. I kept thinking “ What can I do about this?” . My proactive brain wanted to do something to “fix the problem.” But in this scenario, There was nothing that I could “Fix”.
So instead by allowing myself to fully feel powerless it allowed me to focus on my own healing. Sometimes we freak out, And panic over things that we cannot change or impact. Like I've been dealing with this after submitting an application for a temporary job for the wintertime. I'm stressed and worried I won't get a call back, But ultimately it's out of my control now. By thinking I can control the situation will cause me extra stress for nothing. Either they will call, Or they won't. Simple as that.
This can be bad in some situations. If you always act as though you have “no Impact” You are less likely to take responsibilities for your mistakes. You'll always find someone to blame. And with that you won't grow or change. So you definitely need to gauge when it's appropriate to have this mindset.
“Waiting” For The Payoff
What payoff? What do you think you are entitled to?
This is something I've struggled with so much. You do all this work, All this effort. And sometimes that prize or goal you want doesn't happen. We then Feel like the machine ate our dollar. We didn't get that soda or snack we wanted. So it makes us want to punch and hit the machine, Until it gives that money (Effort) Or the prize (Snack Or Soda). In the end, We sometimes feel we need to accept our losses and walk away empty handed.
We really aren't “entitled” to anything. As much as we feel we are. Sometimes when we sit there feeling incredibly ripped off. We realize that our heart wasn't as into what we thought it was. You were just doing the motions for the prize. Like Gary Vee Sometimes says, We need to love the process. Love the whole game. That way you never really lose. Sure, You may miss out on that “Prize”. That may consist of a promotion, Opportunty, Or other gain. But ultimately, Who loses? Not you.
I realized how important this was when I started my business. There are new goals I chase each day, But I love running my business. I love growing this tiny seed into a larger plant. It's getting bigger, Better and stronger as I lay the foundation. Sometimes I see opportunties and for whatever reason I get rejected, Or I'm not able to have what I want at that time. Even though I worked hard, And prepared for it. I end up walking away without what I wanted.
But being in love with what I do, Makes sure that I'm always winning. Sure I didn't get it, But I still get to spend everyday doing what I want to do.
Most of the time, Waiting on the payoff is a bad idea. If you don't love a bulk of what you are doing, Just find something else to pursue.
Things Should Be Fair
Again, This is a hard one. Everyone hears the “life isn't Fair”. But many of us don't believe it. Because we still get upset when we feel that life didn't give us what we felt we deserved.
We have these beliefs that good should be rewarded, And the bad punished. Yet sometimes we see bad people rewarded, And good people punished. Some people have huge advantages while others don't. And it's not necessarily based on anything except for factors out of that persons control. We sabotage our life by letting these things “control” our mind and our time. Then we waste time feeling sorry for ourselves when things don't pan out the way we wanted them to. When the reality is we could be focusing on improving the situations for ourselves.
I hate it when people whine and complain “that's not fair!”. Because no one is going to “change” things so it's “fair” according to what you believe. So shut up, Deal with it. And figure out how to make things “fair” for you. Whether it's working harder or changing certain aspects of your life
