Rage and sadness are two of the so-called basic emotions (from which all others derive) along with joy, fear, and in some approaches, also love or disgust.
In this current culture of happiness where discomfort, frustration and pain have to be avoided and repressed at all costs, sadness and anger are perceived as "negative" and are very censored at the social level.
Today we have to be happy, to be or to pretend it has become something by obligation and on the way we forget that everything hurts or annoys, not everything is rosy that you can not get along with everyone, we have forgotten that both emotions are normal, healthy and necessary, that to overcome pain and loss we have to live with sadness, that to set limits and defend ourselves we have to express anger. Well for the education that we have received, either for more or less conscious fears or beliefs, we allow ourselves to feel a series of emotions and we censor others although there are some people who make sadness and anger their way of life in general they educated us to express as little as possible our less beautiful feelings which makes it even more difficult for us to correct perception and management.
We have many mechanisms that in this sense ally with social conventions and help us escape from these less pleasant emotions, some of them: * Fantasies; they occur when, out of fear of feeling these emotions, we fantasize about what might happen. That is to say if I get angry I can do anything, if I allow myself to be sad I will go into a depression, if I let my rage out I will do a lot of damage, crying is useless.
- Projection: arises before the possibility of accepting my own emotion I just projecting it on others.
Sometimes it is also better to believe that anger and sadness is something that you make me feel instead of accepting that it is something that I feel exemplifies: When we say you make me angry instead of saying I feel anger with that I am passing the responsibility To another person than what I am feeling, also a misunderstood empathy can lead us to avoid our anger or our sadness. The reason why someone hurts us has nothing to do with the pain that causes us, we have the right to express our sadness or our anger despite being able to be on the skin or shoes of the other and understand their motives or circumstances.
If we do not go through anger or sadness first, later empathy or even forgiveness can end up being forced and false.
There is something addictive about sadness and anger! It's like a drug that makes you want it but at the same time you want to get away from it. Self-pity, self-contempt and selfishness keep you in a bubble of pain. It is like a cocoon that keeps you away from the world and joy.
It's time to abandon these thoughts that keep you in a downward spiral. Self-pity does not help anyone, not even you. If you want to move forward, think positive.
"I can get sad, I can get frustrated and I can be scared but I never get depressed, because there is joy in my life."
Michael J. Fox