I fear of over indulging monkey mind or bandit.

There is the True Self, which is part of us that has always been. Even when we were children. It is the I in us. We all have this Self. It is not made of memory or experience like the ego or monkey. The ego or monkey is something that we all need a bit of as it allows us to go out in the world and survive. It hopes it wants. However, having the monkey mind as a master is brutal and tragic.

This strange modern culture nurtures monkey mind and generally ignores care and growth of the true self. The monkey mind or ego, chatters at us. Trying to get our True Self to indulge its story. Often these are thoughts and stories we’ve already gone through many times before. The monkey always repeats its stories. It knows our fears, hopes and worries and uses these to lure us in to a a self-indulgent story. If we go with the monkey mind, it tells us crazy stories, using memories and experience convince us what it is saying is true. This generates feelings both good and bad that we can tend to identify with. We can then make the mistake that we are our feelings.

I'm in no way suggesting that feeling or emotions are not important. But that their main use is when are experiencing something in the moment. Read in the Now, they are valid indicators of an experience. Just as we experience warmth on a summer day so we experience our feelings and thoughts. It's the game of the monkey to trick us into thinking we are our thoughts. When we fall for it then we lose the clarity of the moment. The place where the true conscious self dwells. By losing the moment we lose choice. We give up our creative nature as beings. The monkey mind uses emotions to take away the Moment.

So when I'd go with that rambling story of the monkey mind I'd be left feeling down. All the while thinking at the time these feelings or thoughts are me. I'm identified with the thoughts and feelings when in fact it was generated not by anything in the now, but by the monkey using memories. If I start hearing the chatter now I say to the monkey hear you and acknowledge and love you but I can't go with you. This can take quite a bit of effort sometimes. With persistence the monkey quiets down. I've gotten better at catching the monkey and it has made a huge difference in my perception. Fears and worries are of no use unless we are actively engaging solutions. Our thoughts should be appropriate with our actions. We must be careful to not day dream with the monkey about worries fears and hopes.

This way I better retain time with my true self. My memories and feeling are no longer something driving me all about so much. They become valuable data which allow me to better navigate the moment. ;)

My fear is to allow the monkey to take too much time from me. I do my best to stay here and now.