My biggest struggle in life is the struggle with myself. If I know what to do to live a better and truthful life, why is it that I avoid this?
Why am I running away from all the possible things I could do? Why am I running away from showing my dreams and inspiration to the world?
My two enemies
When I'm honest to myself I know I have the possibilities to live courageous and truthfully. The two things that are holding me back are FEAR and SHAME. The only thing I'm hiding from is myself, my own shortcomings and inadequacy. The things that I'm aware of that I can not do. Being aware that I'm not a perfect person, that I am able to fail. Fear and Shame are my two that hold me back end send me into hiding.
Why are you hiding?
When you look at yourself and become self conscious, you see your shortcomings, you have every reason to hide. How can I, as a flawed person, have the possibility to be something in this world, and even to share something of value with this world. We feel like we don't have the right to life this life and to contribute to the world. We fear being judged and are ashamed of the shortcomings we see in ourselves.
Three roads to choose from
Now we are aware that we are self aware we have a conscious decision to make. How are we going to handle this? This is an important decision because it will make your life day to day.
The High Horse
The first road we can choose from is to make sure we're safe. Make sure other people don't see our shortcomings, our fear, our shame. Just make a persona for yourself and live it day to day. Keep hiding from others and for yourself. Don't do anything that risks you being exposed, and if you do make sure you're aggressive so you won't be exposed. Stay on your High Horse en make sure to kick other people down. You'll be safe and never be exposed.
The mouse in the corner
The second road we can choose from is to make sure we're safe. Make sure other people don't see our shortcomings, our fear, our shame. This time we just hide and don't take any risk at all. Keep inside, don't see other people that could expose you. Make sure to play a persona that fits the victim narrative. You didn't choose to have these shortcomings, so it's ok to blame any other person around you. Just forever hide and you'll never be exposed.
The deer in the field
The third road we can choose is the most difficult one. It doesn't feel safe, but it is the most powerful one and will make you stronger over time. It is being powerful in vulnerability. Just walk through the open field like a deer. Accept your shortcomings and accept your strengths. Be open to others about what you can and cannot do. Show your antlers, your tools, your skills. They will grow over time. Fight when you have to, run when you have to. Don't be ashamed of who you are, you're not the only one in the field.
Humility is being in the right place
Being humble is often misunderstood to place yourself under other people. This is absolutely not the case. Humility is being aware of who you are, your strengths and shortcomings and those of others. It is being totally honest to yourself about who you are, not hiding from yourself and from others. Face the fear and the possibility of shame. When you have the courage to be this vulnerable you are truly you and there's nothing to hide or to be ashamed of.
And why you can do this? Because you're not different from others. Everyone has the same struggle, the same fears, the same shames.
So, will you join me in the field?
Just a little bit about myself.
I started to share my thoughts and stories on Steemit because I have a deep passion to inspire people and make them think. I've always found inspiration in stories of other people's experiences and I love to share my own experiences on what I discover in my life. I hope some people might find some inspiration in thema and will help them to go further in life.
If you liked this story please consider upvoting and following me. It would really help me to build a community of like minded people that motivate each other. Also I really love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
I wish you well!
Love,
Koen Folkerts
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