We live in a world of great ironies and paradoxes. One of such is the concomitant desperacy of men to add more wives to the first and the desperacy of women to resist having any one as co-wives under their men.
It is interesting to know that both genders are acting on their natural instincts and emotions. God created these irresistible urges in them. It would therefore be unfair and thoughtless to blame them or refuse to accept their dispositions towards these behavours.
Man loves sex. He also loves food. No one is loved by him than the one who readily offers him both. Man is ordinarily solid in nature. He is liquefied at the instant of food and sex. His solidity is put to test when denied both or either of these needs.
Much like he does not like to taste one meal all the time, he dislikes having the same women beside him repeatedly for many years (He may only pretend not to because he has some incapabilities). Therefore, he desperately wants to have the experience of how it tastes and sweets with as many women as possible. Free sex gives an unrestricted access or an all-time widely-opened door to that desire. Most men prefer that option. That is why it is popular in our society.
Marriage is generally believed to be a restriction or lock to that tendency. Therefore, many men want to enjoy more of free sex with as many ladies as possible before getting entangled in a 'boundage' of marital bond. They are not in any rush to get married. This is because marriage is preconceived as one-man-one-woman affairs.
Polygamy is conventionally a taboo, a deviant behavior of a sort. And because this convention seeks to suppress the insuppressible nature of man as a specie that is disposed to 'new tastes' and 'alternatives', no matter how they delay their marriage, monogamous men still ply their old ways after marriage! Sadly, these conventions are the ways today.
Both pre-marital and extra-marital sex are not approved anywhere socially and culturally especially in Africa. They are not established in any religious law. Both Christianity and Islam condemn them. This is why they are mere conventions. Whoever engages in them does not wish to do the right thing but to just swim with the tides in the society.
The only real men are those who do not give or accept sex except in marriage. They restrain themselves from unrighteous sex as both religious and social responsibilities. They marry to fulfill their natural attachment to sex. They would again marry-in-marriage to fulfill their desires for renewed sexual experience. They marry-after-marriage for the same reason in case of sad death of spouse(s). They marry-outside-marriage in case of unfortunate incidence of divorce. Marriage alone is what they know. They commit their money and persons. They take resolves to spend more and make more sacrifice just to satisfy their emotional and sexual needs. No hide-outs about it.
These are true and sincere men. Others outside their ranks and files are cheaters and liars. They are chameleons which blend their skin with the enviroment to evade suspicion. They are simply wolves in sheep clothing. They run a monogamous family home but practice illegal polygamy secretly. They pledge you and us till death do us part to their lone wives while they spend 'nice moments' with their multiple 'loves' at work, within neighborhood and even in the next door.
To my chagrin, women prefer these infidels than true men who announce their intent for polygamy. The non-Muslim ones take pride in the rings on their fingers as a symbol of loyalty and commitment of their men! Believing that Islam encourages man to be polygamous, the Muslims among them either go for non-Muslim men or commit Muslim suitors to making pledges not to take up other women as long as they are in marriage with them. To ensure the goats are well tied to their waists and held from every tendency to stray, it is now common to see Muslim women dragging Muslim men to court for nuptial oath as part of Nikkah
Explained by a muslim brother taofeek