I understand what you are talking about as i have had to battle these same issues in my life and still deal with the thoughts trying to take over. When I was in college I was lucky that in my darkest times that i remembered how i would impact my family and friends and how i would make them feel, especially my mom if i ever tried to end things.
I was fortunate to be able to get through my moments without medicine and the help of hanging out with my friends, but i know others are not so lucky. Here's hoping that as human beings, we can get over the macho thing of keeping it in and working on our own issues and ask for help when needed.