I do not know what is the purpose of writing this post but I am just going to let my fingers type. Have you ever did your best to understand the actions, words and emotions of other people that at times you neglect your own emotions? Don’t you get angry and irritated at yourself for doing such because it is only because of you that you feel such. You allowed others to enter into your mind and fuck with it. We can understand others but at the same time we can also be happy, but no we let our emotions take over us.
It is so difficult to control our emotions at times. Especially when you feel a close one is hurting you at such a deep well. And at times they are not even aware that they are hurting you because they themselves are being hurt by other people. It is like a “cycle”. Person A hurts Person B (let’s say Person B is your friend) and Person B hurts Person C (you) and it goes back and forth till you explode to your friend! Some times I feel like I have figured a way out of that cycle and after some time have passed I am back into the cycle! The emotions goes really low and flies up real damn fucking high. How on earth do we control that? How do we understand others and still be happy even though they do not get us? It is very easy for me or anyone to say that it is all about perception (I have been saying that a lot) but it really is. However, applying that knowledge can be a pain in the ass because we were never taught all of these since young. It is rewiring how the damn brain works that is the pain. It is unknowing what we think is the truth, that is the fucking annoying part. The question still lies there, how to break out of that damn cycle?
Well, we can tell person B off. However, also remember that person B is being hurt by person A. You need to understand that person B is not hurting you on purpose, they are unaware of it. So if you decide to tell person B off person B would then think they have no one to turn to. Person B would be devastated because person’s B friend who is you is now telling him/her off. Person B would feel that no one understands them. Won’t we then feel sad because we have hurt person B further due to what we think person B is doing to us? (whatever you think person B is doing to you is a reflection of you, not them)
I think I know what should be done. I would simply be there for person B in whichever way I can. In the process of being there shit may happen. Such as person B might hurt me unknowingly, he/she might ignore me, he/she might even vent out their emotions on my relationship with them, he/she might seem as if they do not give a fuck about my emotions and feelings (in fact it is me who is not giving fuck about my own emotions) and so on and so forth. But it is my choice to be there for person B, I chose it so I deal with it.
Now what am I supposed to do with my feelings? I would never want to tell person B about it because I do not want to hurt him/her further. What I will do is I will deal with my emotions on my own. I will write it down in my personal diary if I need to, I will sit down and try to understand why am I feeling such and come up with a solution to it. I will focus on what I can control and alter anything if there is a need to. I will detach from the emotion and look at the bigger picture and I am sure everything will turn out just fine. I will take this as an opportunity to work on myself and to understand without wanting to be understood in return because I understand myself very well. Hence I do not need anyone to understand me. I would have found a solution to a lot of my own feelings and emotions. It is a blessing in disguise :). And when everything is settled with Person B I would tell him/her about it and laugh over it because it was the past. He/she got over that phase and I got over it too! Of course I would tell him/her to be more aware of others next time.
In contrary, you could choose to tell person B off. There is no right or wrong here, it is merely a choice we make. If you choose to tell person B off then person B may become more aware of it and say sorry if he/she feels the need to. Also, things would be way better between you guys. You guys would develop a very different relationship compared to what I would do. You guys would be frank with each other and would not take each other bullshit to the extent that it hurts you or the other. You guys develop a 2 way understanding, which is essential! :)
On the other hand if you decide not to tell Person B off then you have the path to work on yourself. You be there for your friend and for yourself. You learn to give without expecting anything in return only because you are filled from within. You learn to understand yourself and focus on what you can control. And the other will definitely be more aware next time because like duh you would communicate it with them or even if you do not, just by simply being you they will realize a lot of things. You would not even know that you are helping Person B because you are just being you. Hence the saying, you want to change the world, you got to start with yourself first. Look within you, know yourself, appreciate yourself, know your essence, love yourself and you will give and be happy even though you do not receive anything in return. :)