"I do not remember everything but the picture of me walking in that dark, lonely passageway, with my legs wide apart, never leaves my head" says Jane as she narrates her ordeal to me. We had been best friends from childhood, little did I know that our friendship cost her so much pain. But how could I? She never said a word.
I was born on the 15th of March and Jane came only three days later. We grew up in the same neighborhood and bonded so easily. We were two little cuties and our friendship was admired by everyone around.
On this calm evening, I had invited her over to keep me company as I was all by myself, overwhelmed with boredom and thoughts of my only brother. Yes, it's been years since he left us but you can not control the thoughts that run through your mind when you are all alone, can you? Especially if you loose someone on this very day, some years ago.
My aged long friend was around. I'd get some relief I whispered to myself. But seeing her weep as she tries to narrate an experience that seemed to have been bottled up for a while was no relief at all. The tables turned as I brought her close in a bid to comfort her. It was hard for her to talk but I didn't mind. We could stay quiet all night.
"It was very painful" she said with a rather harsh tone as she lifted her head up and away from my shoulder. "It was painful but he said not to tell anyone. Days passed and so did weeks. I kept this secret up my sleeves". Who would I have told? Mom?" she asked aggressively and giggled.
At this point, I wasn't sure what we were talking about. Of course, I can see that just the thought of it hurts her but I still do not get. So I asked 'how do you mean?' at the risk of hurting her even more. She stood up and walked towards the open window. We were at the cabin, dad's resort. He would come here whenever he wanted to drink away the pain of loosing his only son.
To think that Brown never stepped his feet on the property. Two years after he died, dad decided to buy it up from his good friend and business partner, Mr Jimmy. He said the family needed to leave the environment where we lost my brother. Even though I had a reason to stay back, yes! I had Jane, It wasn't an option, I was barely 10.
Here we were together after 15 years and I wasn't sure what my friend was trying to say. I walked up to Jane, I needed to hear the last of this. 'If it hurt so bad, why didn't you tell mom?', I asked. Slowly, she turned and looked at me, smiling. "MOM? You mean my mother?" I gave a nod in affirmation. She burst out in laughter. "Mom never looked at us twice. She was out of the house before we got up in the morning and is always tired and irritated at the close of work. How could I possibly have told her?"
I understood perfectly what Jane meant. Her mom, a mother of four at the time, was a career woman, burdened with the responsibility of being the bread-winner of the family. She was almost always never at home. Explains why Jane was always with me at our apartment.
"Brown hurt me, Susan" she said.
What? Which Brown? My brother? My only brother?
"Yes!"
"I wasn't sure what it was that he did to me but it hurt so much and I wanted it to stop."
You can imagine my state at this point. 'What are you saying, Jane?' I asked sluggishly.
Just then, she got up, went to the door as though she was about to take her leave. In awe I starred at her, so many thoughts running through my mind.
Jane! I called out.
"I had to do something Susan. I didn't know it would turn out the way it did. But I had to stop the pain; I had to stop him".
I sat there almost lifeless as I watched her run out of the cabin into the darkness.
What just happened?
What happened to Jane?
What did Brown do to her? He was way older than both I and Jane. About twelve (12) years older.
What did Jane do to Brown?
Why was she silent about this the whole time?
Fifteen (15) whole years?