I was very pleased with myself when I came up with this term… only to discover someone beat me to it. A quick Internet search revealed that bill-o-phobia is an extreme dislike of ... Bill Gates. I also have that, as I suspect many of you do, but my idea of bill-o-phobia refers to my intense hatred of paying bills. It is something I will postpone for as long as I can and way beyond that. Nothing to do with having or not having the money to pay utility bills - my mind refuses to do it. Also, not to be confused with chrometophobia, a condition described as the fear of spending money. Thank God I don’t suffer from that, too.
Over the past few days, I’ve been transferring money to my Revolut account. Yesterday, for instance, I went to the mall and bought a present for my son’s upcoming birthday. I could have transferred a bit more to settle an outstanding bill, but, no. I just can’t do that. It’s been waiting for some time, surely it can wait a bit more.
The fear of spending money is caused, among other things, by having experienced financial difficulties in the past. One comes to fear that such a situation may occur again so they try to prevent it by not spending money, sometimes denying themselves basic necessities.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the financial difficulties in my life it's that my family comes first. Just as a wounded creature shuts down all unnecessary processes to focus on healing. When you have finite resources, you have to prioritize. Of course you’re not going to pay a random bill when the kid needs shoes. I guess this sort of reasoning became so entrenched I can’t shake out of it even if I do have the money to pay a bill. Deep down there’s a part of me that keeps thinking if you push it off long enough maybe you won’t have to do it after all. What if the end of the world is tomorrow? What if the aliens come and one of their first decisions would be to abolish bills? Could happen, you know.
Monsters don't scare me nearly as much as bills do
Another fundamental problem I have with bills is my dislike of authorities and the companies that provide water, electricity and the likes. Utility prices keep rising because of various climate change taxes they’re shoving down our throats. The various wars going on keep driving oil and natural gas prices up. Heating bills this past winter were through the roof - why should I pay for that? I didn’t start any war and I don’t believe the climate change crap. We’re being screwed all the time so I think it’s only fair to fight back every way we can.
One of the ways to cope with any phobia is exposure therapy, confronting your fears in small doses in a safe environment. I am my own therapist so I just tried paying a small bill, less than $30. Like any modern person I am afraid of losing Internet access so I try to pay for that on time or what counts as on time for me. For some unknown reason, the Internet provider’s site says I got nothing to pay. Zero. I’m fairly certain there should have been a bill due around this time of the month, but I’ll take their word for it. Miracles do happen!
