Just another update on how I am doing.
I still don't feel capable of blogging constantly like I used to as my pain is at an all time high and I am buried in financial woes but I do want to keep updating you guys and do plan to be more active again once I start getting relief from the strict IC diet and meds I will be getting. I am sticking to my sobriety and IC/PCOS diet 100% and am still very determined but I am also very, very depressed.
I have now been in this state of constant 24/7 pain and complete isolation for nearly 2 years and it is taking a toll on me. I am glad to be sober because surely I would have tried to off myself again if I were drinking. Staying sober helps me be able to stay grounded and look to the future for relief and hope. I KNOW I am doing all I can and it's just a disease that takes time, trial, and error to heal.
I have prepared a lot of things in a notebook to tell my doctor and plan to be firm in my unwillingness to go on elavil -which I know is what he wants to try first as he mentioned it last appt- as it causes most people to gain weight, like almost everyone whose on high doses for IC gains weight and I already have PCOS, likely insulin resistance, and cannot work out due to the constant pain. I have lost 6 lbs and don't plan to start going up in weight. I plan to keep going down gradually. So, I am a bit anxious about having to be firm and explain my reasoning on that one. I am already am technically now in the obese BMI and I don't want to trade my pain in for diabetes. I did research what drugs/drug combos I would be more comfortable with taking.
I decided to go abstract with my 2 week chip.
I made another chip from polymer clay but I noticed I really, really like fiddling with my chip all day. It is not only good for my nervous energy but it really makes me happy to have it close to me, this reminder that I am doing it. I am putting my health first. I am loving myself. I can do it. The chip is helping. This one simply has one textured yellow bump for each day and the back is smooth.
I just ordered a bulk amount of nutritional yeast and hulled hemp seeds as they are both IC friendly complete proteins. The hemp seeds even have omegas. I have lost 6lbs since I stopped drinking and that is even with the first week of sobriety being "I WILL EAT ANY JUNK I GET MY HANDS ON" week. haha I only started eating healthy after the fiending for booze tapered off and I could start eating normally.
So yeah, just letting you all know that though I am in pain, and not thriving because nobody could be thriving in my shoes. My quality of life is that of a cancer patient and I am not pulling that out of my ass that is something that is said by professionals of the quality of life of a person with severe IC and my IC is literally in a constant non-stop flare. So it is hellish. But I am here and I am going to be okay. I know I gained a lot of followers and I love this community so if nothing else I will let you all know I am okay while I wait to get relief but believe me, I will be back full force once I get relief sharing all my wonderful adventures because I will be living to the fullest and never taking my health for granted again!
Get these badges I made here.
