Procrastination is the most reinforced skill I learned in public school. I liked to read, but I didn’t want to read (let alone do that damned book report) about what they wanted me to read about. Last Of The Mohicans is one hell of a book to try to skim through in one night!
Procrastination is an ugly beast that many of us recognize. But, because it's a different monster for each of us, it's difficult to come up with a strategy that works for everyone to beat it. Fear, laziness, doubt, distraction... and usually a combination of all of these and more enter into the picture.
Most of the strategies I've read over the years try to deal with some or one of these individually. Usually the solutions I've been taught to implement have to do with self-talk or some other lame attempt at tricking yourself into action.
A method I've used over the years is to paint myself into a corner with commitments to other people. If I have an appointment, I know I'll show. So for instance, if I want to learn how to swing Indian Clubs, there's nothing quite like a weekly training session to keep me accountable to my practice - especially because I'm the teacher!
"I only write when the pot boils over. But I have learned how to turn up the heat" - Marvin Bell
I suppose we could say there are two types of procrastination.*
The first type is the "I don't feel like adulting today" type. We all have crap we should take care of in order to avoid worse consequences. Many of these are unavoidable circumstances of life, and all I can say here is; suck it up buttercup! Either go do the thing you know you need to or just face the consequences of not doing it. Either way is fine really, as long as you recognize that you’ve made a choice and move on. (Own it!)The second type is what I'm really concerned about. It's the big type of procrastination that keeps you from really living all your life. It's the "someday I'll do this big thing" type of procrastination. And it's killing you.
In a very real way, it's killing you, because the life you want to be living, the life you could be living, is lost to "someday" -which never comes. The you that could be is being murdered. Every day you are not living the life you want, is a day that life has lost.
This is the type of procrastination that I want to help you with. I want to save your life- the life you could have if you would just act on it.
I'm writing a book.
No... really. I'm writing a book. I know a lot of people say they want to write a book. A lot of people say they are writing a book. But really- I AM WRITING A BOOK!
I'll be sharing much of the content and process of writing the book with you here on this blog. The cool thing about this book is that just like the Indian Club example above, I'm learning a lot about myself because I'm in the process of writing a book about helping you learn a lot about yourself!
At the ripe old age of 40-ish, I think I'm finally discovering what makes me tick.
This post isn't really supposed to be about the book, but since I've brought it up I'll clue you in a bit...
Happiness is a big deal.
We all seek it. Aristotle basically said it’s the meaning of life itself since it's the one thing we all seem to be striving for (directly or indirectly- in this life or the next). But hey, if I'm name dropping Aristotle already, that's obviously a big damned topic! Too big for this article; hence the book.
So far I'm calling it "OWN IT! Your personal guide to happiness and freedom." It deals with self-ownership, excellence, freedom, and...well, happiness!
You have a choice.
You've likely heard many times that, "happiness is a choice". The thing I hate about this phrase is that it implies that we can just decide; "Hey! I want to be happy- therefore I am. Yay me!", when we all know that's bullshit.
Our emotional state is often reactionary and seemingly involuntary. So deciding to be happy when we really don't feel that way is usually a losing battle. However, (and I think this is the truth of the above "choice" statement) we do have a choice in our actions. And our actions can definitely impact our happiness both now and in the future. As I've mentioned - you don’t choose to be happy, you choose to be the type of person that’s happy.
Enter the Flow-state.
What is Flow? Click here for a little more about it, but you know what it is. When you're "in the zone", firing on all cylinders...when you are so engrossed in what you're doing that time is meaningless and you seem to be working at a level that exceeds your normal abilities, you're experiencing Flow.
One of the cool things about Flow is that it seems to really make people happy. It increases your confidence. It helps you perform at a higher level. It heightens your focus. And after a Flow experience, you feel better -no, you are better!
So I’ve used Flow as a litmus test for what I ought to be doing. I think if you are able to enter the flow state, it is a signal that you are doing what you are “meant” to do.**
That big type of procrastination that's holding you back, is overwhelmed if we can set up the right conditions for you to be in Flow. The intrinsic reward of Flow is a powerful motivator. The best part of all? We can learn how to get ourselves into a state of Flow. All we need to do is pay attention to ourselves. Think back to when you've experienced Flow. What were you doing? What environment were you in? What decisions did you make that led up to the circumstances of that experience? It's very likely that your experiences with Flow were related to the life that you dream of living.
So here's my challenge to you, my fellow procrastinator: figure out what type of activity is likely to help you feel like you are experiencing Flow. Then, set up the necessary conditions to make Flow possible.
Want to write a book? Stop planning for the book. Start writing (or reading or researching) for the sole purpose of reaching that Flow state. Remove distractions so that you can focus on the task at hand and only that task. You're not writing to finish a book, you're writing because you love to write, or you love to learn, or teach, or create or whatever. Write for the experience of writing, not to complete a book.
The funny thing is- when you begin to do this, when you can figure out what makes you tick, what draws you into the Flow state, procrastination won’t be part of your life anymore. Flow is like a drug with only good side effects. It will make you crave the next session. It'll make your sessions more productive. Your quality of work will improve. Your confidence will skyrocket. And just like that...
...you're writing that book.
Producing that play.
Performing that song.
Traveling to that country.
Winning that competition.
Losing that weight.
What if the life I dream of is not what seems to prompt me to enter Flow?
Then why are you dreaming of it? Seriously. If what you are dreaming of doesn't make you happy to work on, then you are likely only picturing a dream life that you have accepted from society, or your parents, or your boss. Or you’re thinking you want the end results from something you don’t really enjoy.
I used to think I wanted to be rich. Now I realize I want to be free and happy. I can be a writer and public speaker that can just barely afford my life. In the past, I’ve worked at owning businesses that I thought would be fun and lucrative, but they ended up being dismal failures because I now realize that working outside of flow for money is not motivating enough for me to do a very good job. Now I focus on work that I enjoy and magically, procrastination is gone. I realize now I was stuck in that habit left over from school - trying to force myself to do the things that I “should be doing” according to society's standards.
My advice? Find what makes you Flow, then build a life around that. There are already plenty of rich, miserable people in the world. Don't try to be another one. By engaging in activities that create Flow for you, you'll not only be happier, you'll be contributing to the world in better ways. You're more valuable when you're in Flow. And more valuable translates to more abundance for you.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
What if I've never experienced Flow?
Ah! Stick around my friend! In upcoming posts, I'll be teaching you all sorts of activities and games to prompt you to enter Flow. I'll be demonstrating art techniques from Drawing to Music, fitness training skills, meditation, learning techniques for reading, math, and science. I'm determined to boil down certain steps to make sure that Flow is available to anyone willing to pursue it. And through this journey, when you finally hit your moment of Flow, I'll help you turn that passion into an entrepreneurial opportunity....so remember that procrastination thing?
The cure for any type of procrastination is really the same I suppose: action. (duh)
You must act. My hope, however, is that by pursuing Flow, you'll catch up to excellence along the way, and enjoy the process so much that procrastination won't enter into the journey.
Then you'll be able to truly live all your life.
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*I realize I’m oversimplifying, but I want to recognize that there is procrastination about living true to our nature, and then “everything else”. I don’t think there is a single solution for all the variables in the “everything else" category.
**I’m not a determinist. I think we all have free will and because of that, there are probably many things we can be happy doing. But there is certainly a subjective preference, right? Each of us enjoys different things to different degrees. Using flow to identify the things you are good at and enjoy can help guide you to work toward a path that will be fulfilling, rewarding, perhaps lucrative, and certainly, bring some joy into your life. This all relates back to Aristotle's’ ideas on happiness, and his description of pursuing excellence to get there.