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The individual who uses the focus primarily where there is no perception of control, will generate the tendency to be a victim of circumstances.
We know that we can not completely control the chemical composition of the organism, unless we help by taking a medication, and we can not prevent in its entirety that negative events will occur, or that we will not face adversities from time to time. It is important to mention that in certain circumstances the medication help is necessary and favorable. For example, in certain conditions of depression it has been observed that the combination of medication together with psychotherapy is more efficient than psychotherapy or medication alone. However, the emphasis in the studies refers to the way in which events are thought, not the events themselves, that are created by the states of mind, since the way in which individuals perceive these events is what influences primarily the way in which human beings feel.
On many occasions when we feel sadness, anxiety, anger, or fear, it is the thoughts that exacerbate that way of feeling, which becomes automatic. They are the cognitive distortions that we use, although they seem real, they are the lenses that influence our vision of the world and that make you react with little effectiveness.
The learning process to discard convincingly to discard those negative thoughts facilitates changing the automatic way of feeling. Then the individual can learn what are the cognitive distortions, the most frequent irrational ideas and the methodology to rule out these distortions:
GENERAL GUIDE
You can change the way you feel.
It is impossible for you to realize that:
• When you are chronically depressed or anxious, you are usually thinking negatively or illogically.
• Automatic thoughts and pessimistic, produce unpleasant moods, which, in turn, generate more pessimistic thoughts and negative actions, establishing a vicious circle.
• With a conscious effort and specific techniques that can be learned, negative thought patterns can be modified.
As we begin to think about ourselves in a more realistic and humane way, we will begin to feel better and be more productive. They will begin to respect us and to like ourselves and, consequently, improve relationships with others. Therefore, as a starting point for the change, it will be important to identify the problematic situation and the psychological meaning that we attribute to it. As an example, we assume that your boss, your wife or husband speak to you in a "scolding" tone. Your automatic thought may be: "... he is disgusted with me." You have to be particularly attentive to realize the associated emotions, sometimes underlying, or doubts. Therefore, pay attention to the possible chain reaction and the emotions associated with each of the thoughts:
Thoughts:
Associated emotions:
Have I done something wrong?
Anxiety / Fear
He / She has no right to talk to me like this
Rage.
Conclusions
He / She is a hostile person
He / She will make my life difficult
I can not stand that!
Our relationship does not work
I can not be happy!
Resist the natural tendency to accept those thoughts as true, simply because they seem to "feel right" or seem reasonable. Examine them and look for evidence to support that presumption, as well as contradictory evidence and alternative explanations. Oppose the temptation to fall into self-defeating reactions as a defense. Revenge or withdrawal, since that way you will validate your negative interpretations. Striking back, acting on the assumption that the other is bad or wrong, will justify punitive reactions. In that way, negative interpretations will turn you into rigid convictions. Therefore, they will self-reinforce and, as a consequence, the next time a similar event occurs, there will be more possibility of reaching the same conclusions, and so on, which will make it more difficult to correct in the future, becoming in a habit