People say that women are the best communicators on the planet, and they'd be right. I've learned through long and painstakingly hard lessons that I just can't lie to my wife. Because she'll know, even if she doesn't ask and I don't mention it, she'll know. Women are the uber masters of knowing how you feel even if you don't know it yourself yet.
I had a long talk with my good girlfriend last night. She usually chats to me on a Saturday for the whole night, I enjoy it if I'm honest, because I've known her coming on 15 years now. We met, late one night on a dark corner of the interwebs and from there we've went from strength to strength. She has her downfalls, as do we all, but we have such deep conversations. It's nice, I feel comfortable in her presence. And she went on to talk about 'the jibe'. If I'm honest it's something I'm quite unfamiliar with but what we went on to talk about represents everything that's wrong with our world.
You see, for her, 'the jibe' is when she feels there's a mutual attraction, or that someone is interested in her. The feeling needs not be reciprocated, only that she gets the feeling that there's something more going on than attraction. I spent all night trying to convince her that what she 'feels' is dead on the money. Our bodies receive a ton of information from the other person, what we see, hear and feel, it's all communication. The brain is only there to make sense of it all. The brain is poisoned by culture, morals, ethics, society and a ton of other things that have been mashed into us when we were little kiddies. The body has no rationale, the body acts as it's told.
She went as far to tell me that she can probably tell what's on the minds of other people in the office, or wherever she is at any given time. I was like, yeah, this is the curse of an emotionally intelligent person. It's something that you have to live by and use morally. It's why my skillset lays in communication. I make shit work, someone gives me an impossible task and I break bread with those that need to be involved, break down their barriers and try to collaborate to make things fit.
"Isn't that scary?" - she asked me.
Well, perhaps trying to put a brave face on it I told her it isn't, it's not, because you know what to say to people and when to make the right sort of connections, you can effectively manipulate everything your own way, right? Not so much. In the heat of the moment it's an entirely different ball game. As a newly graduated university scholar and people enthusiast I had a rude awakening when it came to application of theory and broke down my idealistic view of Utopia.
People are different and have minds of their own. Sometimes you just can't have shit work your own way. What happens when you're trying to teach and help someone that you know is falling in their idea of love with you because they haven't received such thoughtful care before? What happens when all you try to do is help someone but they've been abused and kicked around for their entire life, they try and scare you away to prevent the thought of abandonment?
Scary is an understatement. Petrifying! But, it's how I am, and I've had to adjust. Filters help. I've managed to turn it on only when needed. It's not necessary to know what people think because it's none of my business
And she tells me that the jibe - she just hopes it isn't true.
But then as a society we are told that we couldn't possibly be that emotionally intelligent. That our feelings, our wants, our needs just aren't for us. We are TOLD what we need, how to think, and how to act, what we need, and simply what we don't need. I just, sometimes I just can't deal. People need to trust in themselves more. If they aren't happy, chances are then something needs to be done about it or you will stagnate forever.
For me I spent my whole life telling myself that what I was thinking couldn't possibly be the truth because I just wasn't worth the attention. Time and time again what I thought wasn't true came to pass and I hadn't properly set myself up to deal with such situations.
And so I ask you, friends,
What are you telling yourself constantly isn't the truth when you 'feel' it?
Try embracing your truth more often. Take ownership of it - and roll.
Be well, friends,
