Hi, everyone I am here today to inform you all about what was happened to me in my life. Recent a close acquaintance of mine has confronted me face to face. You see prior to this me and the man in question go way back. I taught him about steemit and how to use it, we also help and teach each other about academics and we also play video games today occasionally for the past few years we have known each other. Just a few months ago though he told me he considered me a friend even though replicate the same feelings towards him. I told him I don't consider him a friend just a very close acquaintance, just the same way as I have told any other. He didn't believe me at first and I still believe he doesn't, but that really doesn't change anything acquaintance or friend they are just labels about how we personally view a person. Furthermore, I and this acquaintance of mine have a class together where I and he sit together with 4 other guys that I too consider acquaintances. To them, I am known as a silly and carefree person that loves to joke around, so they really don't take anything that I say or do seriously. But, I am not here to talk about that, nor do I really care since this is the way I have always been treated very deservingly. I am here to talk about what this very close acquaintance had told me just the other day and really opened my eyes and changed my mind. You see on that day in that class we were doing a lab project that wasn't to be taken seriously, but as my group have told me and I have come to realize is that I took my usual joking antics way to far this time. I don't really want to go into details about what I did in particular, but just know that no one was happy with me especially my close acquaintance. Since, after the lab was finished he confronted me about it and these are his words that have stuck in my head for the past for days. "hey man you need to stop doing that and acting the way you have been"..."It's kind of embarrassing for me and the group" and that "I was embarrassing him and making him look bad" ... I told him that I was "sorry" and that I "couldn't help it" but he told me this "Maybe one day you will" and those words stung... I have never heard him talk this cold to anyone. He is a peacefully and religious guy, so it a surprise to me that he would say those things to me. I just couldn't talk to him after class that day, nor could I talk to him the following Monday and Tuesday. Today though on Wednesday I did make an effort. I have come to the conclusion that I will not act the same way I have always been since it makes him unhappy. My personality of being silly, always making sexual jokes and comments, and talking and doing inappropriate things I have all decided to stop doing, at least around him. I only act this way around the people I am close to, but I guess I can't anymore I have to change who I really am around this person to make him happy. I know that I am not that important to him or his life, but he is to me so this is what I have to do to save our relationship. It just hurts me to know that I have been embarrassing him and the group this whole time and that he really only sees me as this stupid immature person that he has to deal with. But, I know that he is right I am stupid, embarrassing, and immature I know this because my parents told me the same growing up. I was an embarrassment to them and I still am and to them, I am also a failure since I am stupid and immature for my age. That's how it is and that's how it has always been. But, I know now that I have to change the way I act around him and the group in order to make them happy I don't want to hold them captive all class feeding them with cringe and embarrassment anymore. but I also don't want to completely change the way I am, so I will only act this way around him to make him happy.
What a shitty day that was.
Thanks for reading
And sorry to my acquaintance
