We all get angry, but fury out of control is not good for those around you and can even be harmful to your own body....
Relaxation
Simple relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help calm feelings of anger. If your partner is irascible like you, it would be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm. Breathing from your chest will not relax you. Imagine that your breathing rises from your "belly."
Slowly repeat a reassuring word or phrase such as "relax" or "take it easy." Repeat it while breathing deeply.
Use the imagery; visualize a relaxing experience either of your memory or imagination.
Slow and non-strenuous exercises like yoga can relax your muscles and make you calm down.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you are in a stress situation.
Cognitive restructuring
Put simply, it means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, insult and speak with very high-pitched terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When he is angry, his ideas can become very exaggerated and too dramatic. Try to replace these thoughts with more reasonable ones. For example, instead of saying, "Oh, it's horrible, it's terrible, everything is ruined," say "it's frustrating and it's understandable that I'm upset but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it."
Be careful with the words "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or about another person. "This machine never works" or "You always forget things" not only are they not accurate but they also tend to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there is no way to solve the problem. In addition, they distance and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you to find a solution
Problem resolution
Sometimes our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inevitable problems in our lives. Not all anger is out of place, and it is often a healthy and natural response to these difficulties. Some people have a cultural belief that each problem has a solution, and their frustration increases when they discover that it is not always the case. The best attitude to overcome this situation is to concentrate not so much on finding the solution but on how to handle and face the problem.
Better comunication
Angry people tend to draw conclusions and act accordingly and some of those conclusions can be quite extreme. The first thing to do if you are in a heated discussion is to calm down and think about your answers. Do not say the first thing that goes through your mind, calm down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before responding.
Listen also to the background of anger. For example, suppose you like having some degree of freedom and personal space and your partner wants to have more communication and a closer relationship. If he or she begins to complain about your activities, do not counterattack by describing your partner as a jailer, guardian or encumbrance.
How to change your environment
Sometimes it is our immediate environment that causes irritation and anger. Problems and responsibilities can worry you a lot and make you feel angry about the trap in which you seem to have fallen and all the people and things that make up that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have "personal time" scheduled for the times of the day that you know are especially stressful. For example, a working mother can establish a fixed rule that when she comes home from work, the first 15 minutes should be a quiet moment. With this brief respite, you will feel better prepared to handle the demands of your children without getting mad.
Some tips to calm down are:
Choose the right moment. If you and your spouse tend to fight when they discuss issues at night, maybe they're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just a habit. Try to change the times you talk about important issues so that those conversations do not turn into discussions.
Evasion. If you get angry every time you go through your child's chaotic room, close the door. Do not force yourself to see what infuriates you. Do not say "Well, my son must clean his room so I do not have to get mad." That's not the point. The point is to stay calm
. Search for alternatives If your daily commute to work in the middle of the traffic leaves you in a state of fury and frustration, change your plan. Maybe I could look for a different route, one that is less congested or more picturesque. Or look for an alternative way to travel, such as taking a bus or a train....
