Let me introduce you to the guilt button. We all have it, you, me, and everyone we know, if they are not psychopaths or sociopaths. This button is really important but often, at least to me, it's a real bitch. We all have it but the size of this button varies very much.
Some of us have a really small guilt button which means that it is very hard to target even when it is totally necessary. These people just don't get it when they need to simply say sorry and mean it too. You want to find this button very badly but they hid it very well. We should feel sorry for them, they ruin their relationships because no one likes that behavior.
Many, on the other hand, have a huge quilt button. My hand is rising. Yes, me too. I hate this button, I want to make it smaller, I want to hide it sometimes. It is so easy to target; you might hit it just by accident. Often, it is not your fault it's mine.
It might be something said or done, it might be something that had to be said or done and regardless if it was necessary or not, it hits the button. It's heavy sometimes, destructive even. Just imagine, you have been asked to do something if you have time, and you don't have it, you kindly decline and afterward feel guilty for not doing it. Or when you must do or say something, it is necessary, you have to do it but you still feel guilty for doing it. It's unnecessary guilt.
That's garbage. We should be free from that but it needs a bit of work and self-examination.
Lindiry