'I can make it', the sky is the limit, im a super woman, nothing can stop me. These are the words that simply slide easily out of your mouth when you are young, well rather, bringing it closer to home, these where the words that so easily made sense to me. Life was simple, life was possible. This is however not the case anymore,
I'm losing myself, I'm losing the grip, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
When I was young I had dreams, dreams of becoming the best I could be. Sweet innocent me, I had a dream of one day becoming a president, or at least a vice president. Something big something beyond the normal, beyond what is expected of a black woman like me.
But im losing myself, im losing the grip, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I had a dream, of meeting Mr Right, falling in love, getting married, building mansions will bustling babies running all over the place. But no one told me, no one told me that things don't always go the way we planned. How would I have not known that falling in love was not easy, or more, staying in love. That
Mr Right is not for everyone, that life is all about chances, not about childhood dreams. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. But what I know is:
I'm losing myself, I'm losing the grip, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
They told me that education was the key that would unlock doors. That if I worked hard, l would be successful and respected and above all, that with good grades, I would get a good job. With that in mind, I became the best I could be, worked as hard as I could, got the best of marks, graduated with amazing results.
But.....[i say this with my heart breaking], but no one told me that, in some situations, in some circumstances, in some regions maybe..... things don't always go the way they should. With my numerous degrees and academic awards, I cannot see any doors opening, the respect I was told I would get, I cannot confirm it. Has the world become corrupt, have things turned upside down? Or was I misinformed? Or was I too much of a dreamer? Too much fantasies? Either way, i think I'm losing myself, im losing the grip, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Is there hope, should I relook; for the light at the end of the tunnel? Or will I just experience another disappointment? What now?
