I have been crying so much lately. I’ve been disappointed by so many and feel like I have failed !
I have suffered with depression and dealt with it in private and all on my own. I’ve struggled with this all my life! I’ve either been disappointed or disappointing.
Lately , I have some good days , but no matter how good they are , Not too many days pass before a bad day comes. The days where despite my weight loss I feel fat, despite getting glammed up I feel ugly, despite all the things I’ve overcome and accomplished I feel like a failure.
I have attempted suicide in the past and planned out how u would do it. Pills bc I don’t have the nerve to do anything else. Figured it was the most peaceful way to go.
I want to do it now. Maybe more than ever. The thing that has me debating it my children. If I knew they would be taken care of properly without me; there would be no debate ! I only worry that if they were left with their father to care for them, they would suffer from my decision.
That’s why I stay and live this stressful, depressing, miserable life I live! Sometimes I wonder if they would be better off without me tho.
