I want to live well

I want to live well, for myself, for you, for you.

I once saw such a passage in a book - "Everyone is an island, you can decide your own exile. When you encounter wind and rain, your heart will not open, your thoughts will grow. Until one day, you will see the sun.•••••• ”

Therefore, I feel that I am an island. I decided to exile myself. I walked all the way, suffered from wind and rain, and my heart was not open. I thought about you. When I thought of you, I bumped into my own sunshine. Since then, there has been faith; since then, there has been hope; from then on, there will be persistence.

••••••

I was born in an ordinary family but lived in a special family.

I originally had a successful family, but later I kept a single-parent family.

I am an ordinary person, but there is always an extraordinary experience along the way.

I never admit my life, but sometimes I have to bow my head because I have no ability to resist, so every time I bow my head, I secretly tell myself that I want to become stronger, stronger, live well, and live my life. Come.

Twenty-one years of life is flat, and I also feel the so-called hardships;

The life of twenty-one years of life has also realized the so-called helplessness;

Twenty-one years of life is mediocre, and I understand the so-called destiny.

I am like a small and powerless ant. In the ecological balance, I don't have my own field. I struggle to pursue my own territory, but it is bumpy all the way. There is no end, but stubbornly refused to accept the fate, refused to bow.

In fact, sometimes, I don’t know what I’m still doing for this, for what is going on.

When I was in college, I was a little confused, a little scared, and even a little inferior. Why are you inferior? In front of relatives, I felt that I didn’t have a good university and I felt inferior. In front of my friends and classmates, I felt that I could not feel inferior to the undergraduate colleges like them. I felt incompetent in front of strangers and unable to communicate with them and feel inferior. It’s been a year of inferiority. Silently disguised himself for a year.

When I was twenty, just got into my sophomore year. I want to start my college life brand new and re-select my life. The sudden fate of luck gave me a new and cruel choice. I was sick again, I was hospitalized again, and I was put on the operating table again for "osteomyelitis surgery."

In my 20 years of life, most of my memories are in the hospital. I can see through the world as a patient and taste the world. Later, I felt that this life is still safe and healthy, and that health and well-being is the best.

I have been hospitalized numerous times and have undergone two major operations. Therefore, I am very afraid of pain. I am afraid that after the operation, the anesthetic will pass the pain that cannot be called out and cannot be called out. However, even if it hurts like that, I don't want to give up my life. Maybe my life is already facing dying, and I will not give up.

In 1993, I was born in an ordinary family. The original family was a child of a single-parent family because of the word "Heavily patriarchal". He lived with a mentally retarded father and an elderly grandparent. From an early age, I knew the meaning behind "smirking."

I am a quiet girl. I hide all my thoughts in my heart. In the face of classmates' ridicule, I can always smile, but who can know, how courage is behind the laughter. Therefore, I never cry easily, even if I suffer from further grievances, I can calmly face it.

When I was nine years old, I was sick for the first time and I turned to the hospital again and again to make sure my illness was "septic arthritis."

At the age of fifteen, I was sick for the second time and transferred to the hospital twice. I experienced the first major surgery in my life at the orthopedic hospital in the county - "osteomyelitis window drainage surgery."

When I was twenty, I was sick for the third time and transferred to the hospital twice. It was precisely because there were no acquaintances in the hospitals of the big cities, no beds, and they were "caught" by the hospital. I still remember that a professor-level doctor said a word to my mother and said, "Even if you kneel down and ask me today, your daughter can't live in.•••••", then I turned to Other hospitals have experienced the second operation in my life - "osteomyelitis window drainage surgery."

After the second operation was discharged from the hospital, during the rest period, I was taken to the hospital again. Because of the sudden “kidney stones”, I stayed in the hospital for a week.

••••••

When I was sick for the first time, I was absent from school for one year. When I was sick for the second time, I took a two-month leave. After I was discharged from the hospital, I took a cane and took a class. When I was sick for the third time, I took a year off. It’s these three illnesses. I spent all my savings in my family, and the support of my family and friends. I remember it in my heart. I understand that I can’t rely on others, and I can be strong enough to live my own way. So, no matter what, I don't give up my studies, even if this so-called university is worthless in the eyes of many people. I also want to continue well.

Because I was out of school for a year, my loan came back to school and started to re-live. I gradually found that I was not confused. Without self-esteem, I was running a belief that "I want to live well." I have all the courage. Go face to face.

In the eyes of others, I have an incomplete family, a broken life, and a tortuous experience. Even if there is an unhealthy body, I should have reason to blame life and have an excuse to escape life. However, I feel that because of this, we should fight harder and pursue more. Even if we fail to achieve the expected goals, we will work hard, work harder and challenge more.

The friends around me said that I am strong. I don't know what weight they say is strong. But when something happens suddenly, if you are not prepared, you can only find a way out by struggling. At any time, it seems that Can not listen to the fate of life, with the peace of mind.

Even if I am an island.

Now, I am a sophomore. Even if the memory of the past is so uncomfortable, I am still actively facing my current life. I understand that living in the past has no meaning, and living in the future is meaningless. Only living now is the most real.

••••••

I may not be a very good student, but I am always a very practical and serious student; I may not be a very good student, but I am always a very active student; I may not be a very outstanding student. But also always a unique student.

Sometimes, accepting yourself in the face of shortcomings, and praising yourself in the face of merits, can such a life have the motivation to face life more positively.

Once, my grandmother told me that let me be a good person, not only in front of myself, but also in front of others, so I remember the grandmother’s "good deeds."

Once, my grandfather told me that letting me do things well is not only my own seriousness, but also serious about other people's affairs. Therefore, I remember my grandfather's "doing things well."

Once, my mentally retarded, great father told me to let me live well, live in peace and health, and live healthy and healthy. Let me live meaningfully and live myself. Therefore, when I was studying, every time I was too tired to work part-time, I remembered my father’s "living meaning". When I was hospitalized, every time I died, I was alive. I remember my father's "live yourself." Live well.

There are always many defects in people's lives. I am not living for the pursuit of perfection. I am living better to make up for the defects. For myself, for my father, and for many, many people who care about me.

People will always encounter a lot of disappointments in this life. I am not living to escape. I am better to live better.

People in this life will always let the life work, again and again, and again and again, I am not living to admit life, I am to persist, for the sake of faith, to live better for the sake of dreams.

Even if it was once dying, now, the clouds are gone, the wind and rain are calming down, and everything is a new beginning. Even if life is hard, life is helpless. For myself, for my father, for a lot of people who care about me. For faith, for hope, for dreams. I want to live well