If you are like me, you are an extrovert introvert. You may have come out, but desperately need your time.
You can not do that. You are one or the other.
No, that's me. And that's how many other people there are. But we are often misunderstood.
Take, for example, people often see me completely, undoubtedly, extroverted because that is the person who gets the most attention. The other side of me, the country that stays at home and reads all day, receives no attention.
Let me tell you what happened a few weeks ago.
I spent Saturday alone, reading, writing, making orders. At 20:54 I received a text from a friend who asked me what to do. He was planning to leave. I said, "Nothing.
Fifteen minutes passed, and he did not answer. I wanted to go out and ask him to see him to see what was going on, but he also wanted to sit in bed and read a book before going to bed at 10 am. That's why I did not call.
Another fifteen minutes passed and finally I called. It took me half an hour and a lot of energy to crush my book, pick up my phone and make him understand the plan for that night.
So instead of staying and reading to sleep, I left my apartment at 21:30 to get out for a drink.
And you know what I did? I danced. And I was nasty. And I had a lot of fun.
But the next day? I sat in a café and read a book. I made several grocery stores, prepared it and ate myself while watching Netflix. I spoke with almost no one. I only wrote my friend who came out that night to see how he did it. I did not want to talk to anyone. And I loved him.
So, yes, I'm coming out. But not all the time.
The fact is extravagance and introversion is no one / or kind of thing. This is a spectrum and you can fool anywhere in this spectrum,
For us, we are very close to the middle and even a flip-flop between the two.
I know it's confusing.
Some of us have learned to become more extroverted because they understand that the basis of human nature is based on interaction with each other - this is inevitable.
To get rid of some confusion, here are a few things that we would like you to know about extrinsic introverts.
1. We are often quiet, but that does not mean we do not want to talk.
Most likely, we have many thoughts we want to talk about, but I think they will not care. We prefer to listen to you because we want to know about you and we know you will enjoy talking.
2. And just because we love to be around people does not mean we want to talk.
Speaking requires a lot of effort. For us, being around is often enough to make us happy. I know this is a little confusing.
3. We like to walk better than in groups. We will listen to you forever.
One on one hangouts is more intimate and we like it. This means that we have the chance to really meet and have a deep conversation about what we really care about instead of making small conversations that a whole group can contribute to.
4. We suck in response to texts because sometimes we do not want to talk to anyone.
Not that we hate people or that we are irritated. Sometimes we've been so close to people, we're exhausted from talking and writing, and we do not want to talk. We are completely open to hang in person, just do not expect to talk too much when we are in one of these moods.
5. We are ready to meet with your other friends. Just let us know some time ago that we will meet new people so we can mentally prepare to communicate.
We are not closed to meet new people, but it is a very exhausting thing. So we literally have to prepare to communicate. You have to go into thinking, "Okay, I'll talk a lot."
6. Although we need our time, we become lonely.
It is difficult to balance the time between yourself and not to feel lonely. We often want to go out because we feel alone, but our apartment is so comfortable that we will not want to leave.
7. It's hard to get out of here, but we'll have fun when we get out.
Sometimes we will need some compulsion to get out of the house. It's not like I do not want to go out, just start thinking, "If it's not funny, can it come out completely if the tickets are sold?" "What if they really do not want to go and they just invite me to be nice? We start getting into our own heads and doing things that can go wrong and use them as an excuse not to go out.
8. We will be happy to chat with your parents / friends / friend / friend / boss / etc, but when it's over, we require silence.
After so many conversations, we really need to reload.
9. We are not always the most talented people in the group, but if someone needs a social life jacket, we can strengthen and offer that.
Again, we will happily talk to someone if the situation arises. We understand that the conversation may be inconvenient, so if we see someone who is worse than us to have a conversation, then we will take the initiative to make them feel more comfortable.
10. We live in our heads, even if we seem to get out there.
Even when we go out, our thoughts are still going and analyzing the situation.
11. As we can go out and calculate at the same time, sometimes we are leaders. But that does not mean we want praise, nor do we want to talk about how great we are.
People seem to think we are capable of being leaders. We can stand up and talk to crowds when they need to. We can make decisions when we need to. But we often analyze ourselves and do not think highly about our skills. Sometimes we do not believe we are good enough to lead. We always think we can be better, so praise often makes us break away.
12. Jumping between the desire to be noticed for our hard work to panic from the thought that someone else will pay more than 30 seconds from us.
Sometimes we want attention, sometimes it's hard to believe that someone will spend more than 10 seconds on us.
13. People think we are flirting. They were not.
We understand that interacting with people is a necessary part of life. So we make an effort to do it deliberately and we really want people to know that they have our undivided interest and attention.
14. We are angry that we want to stay and let our friends down.
This is why we sometimes wander out. Letting our friends know that it's nice to spend time with them, not because we want to be out.
15. We are the happiest in places like cafes and cafes: surrounded by people, but they are still closed and behave for themselves.
We just like to be around people, even if they are strangers. This is the compromise of being around people, but you do not have to talk to them.
16. We have a constant internal struggle to control our introverted side.
This is disappointing, because we will realize when we begin to withdraw into our own minds and become extremely introspective. This happens when we are in really big crowds. And the only thought is, "Oh, no, it's happening. No. I have to talk to somebody, but that's so hard." No. Yes, we need to talk or you'll stay in the head for the rest of the night.
17. We really do not like small conversations.
We will avoid a small conversation we could. We really want to get to know you. We want to understand what you think, what your goals are, what your family is. We do not want to talk about the bad weather. But if we talk about it well then we will talk about it.
18. We do not have a main "group" of friends.
We often choose and choose one or two people from different social groups that make up our closest friends. But we make this handful of best friends our lives and we will do everything for them.
19. If you like us, we really like you. We are extremely picky about what we spend our time and energy. If we have seen it several times, take it as a compliment.
Seriously. If it's such a struggle to talk to people and if we get so exhausting, it's a big deal if we want to spend our time and energy with you. It is not to say that we are full of ourselves. We just would not want to spend this energy with people whose company we do not like.