People Of The Dark
‘ What do normal people do when they get this sad? ‘ – Eliot Mr Robot
That catchy monologue by Eliot does capture the reality of someone who’s been living under the shadow for years. People like us constantly seeking for a way to cope from time to time. We get high off things which could make us forget either it’s morphine, weed, alcohol, cigarettes or any other addiction which most of them seemed to be harmful.
People like us, we hate small talk but our mind constantly talking, watching and observing every movement of our surrounding even as small as ants wandering on the floor. We don’t really talk much, we don’t hangout much and our friendship is limited also exclusive.
We are the people who can’t see the world as a sunny day even when it is. We see the world in just gray and not exciting. Living time to time feels like a curse but often, when we see someone disabled we think it’s truly a gift. It’s funny that sometimes we think to change the world even when waking up itself is difficult than ever.
People like us loves to write, we write down everything to help us remember, cope and feeling grateful. We made notes even for our simple achievements like getting up, getting ourselves a proper meal and talk to a new people for example.
When our world gets quiet, we tried our best to stay clean. We cried in the corner of our place wondering and playing memories on repeat. We wake up the other day and once again, forced to act like normal people. It was the most difficult thing- ever.
People like us, we have our job and responsibilities despite things behind the closed doors. We go to work or school like everyone else does, we tried to do our best and often we’re best at what we do. We couldn’t understand what was going on with our life even everyone think it looks perfect.
Medicate? Tell a friend? Read a book? We did it all and still can’t find a way to heal our souls. Are we damned? We can’t really tell.
One day, on a fine sunny day we’re a human with a whole lot of enthusiasm. We love what we do, we know what to do, we forgot what we had but a single tiny thing, could crumble us apart. We would then go back to the same loop. Waiting and wanting to recover.
We went to professionals but they didn’t really help. The medications, well it was equal as consuming other poison just so we temporarily forget. When we stop consuming a happy pill? The world will back to its color. Dull and gray.
One a fine sunny day, We tried to get our shit together and think we fixed ourselves. Soon we understand that we may messed up a little here and there and often runs away and accumulating every problem; we realized. Then we weep again regretting things and go back to the same hole.
You know, It’s every man for himself. It’s only ourselves who can heal us because we know the cause of each problem. Everyone, or strangers who we talked to, they couldn't really understand our point of view. It's again only us, we know how to get rid of all it even something important has to be risked. But again life, is the matter of choices.
I’ve read there’s community in steemit where people like me could speak out our voices but I couldn’t recall the name or to find back that article. If someone knows, please let me know in the comment section. I’d really appreciate your help.