I love online chatting. It is simply the life and soul of my days and nights. I work at a bar. All day long I serve the strangers. Listen to what they had to tell- but it was all about what THEY had to tell. I wanted to tell something. There hadn’t been anyone. No one wants to listen to the silly old day and nighttime stories of a bar woman.
My friend introduced me to online chatting. I couldn’t be more thankful to her. I have never been much of a computer savvy person but the day I heard of yahoo messenger, I got a subscription for a router and bought a laptop. It definitely took me some time to get the hang of it. But I definitely found my way around the windows after a week or so.
Then came the online chatting phase! I am a naive person. Yes, I truly am! This was one of the reasons I couldn’t find my way around the messenger. I used my own name as my nick. I didn’t lie one bit. What I found was that people aren’t the people online as they are in their real lives. They tend to want you, simply want you, use you and throw you away like a toilet paper.
I learnt it the hard way. I made a friend with a guy who looked as if he certainly was the boyfriend material. He was nice, kind and sympathetic with me. He wished I would have gotten more education so that I didn’t have to work as a barmaid. I felt something for him. This was the first time I had felt something for someone deep inside me. We webcam-chatted! We voice chatted. We were naughty at times. I am not shameful to say that. Who isn’t once in a while?
But it all came to a disastrous end. He said he was coming to my city for a business trip and he would love to meet me. Who was I to say no? I had wanted to meet him since ages; I took a leave from my bar that day. I made myself up. Lovingly! I wanted myself to be held! To be touched! To be loved!
I saw him that night. It was close to 11 pm. He wasn’t alone. There were a couple of friends with him. He gave me his hotel address and the room number. I had to run a few errands. I told him that I’ll meet him in an hour or so. I reached his room around 12 am. Again, unexpectedly he wasn’t alone. What he did then was something that shattered me and lost me the whole universe.
He offered me money to pleasure him and his ‘company’. I took the whole wad of cash and threw it at his face. He was under the impression that I was a call girl; a prostitute. I ran the whole way to my apartment and lost myself in tears. I wish, I so wish that he hadn’t hurt me. At least not this way! I never again trusted someone again. I started using a false nick and ‘using’ people just like everyone else. This is what betrayal does to you and what I am doing is what an experience results.