I still remember that middle school parent teacher conference where I found out that I was going to an all boys high school. With my proud parents watching, I told my 7th grade teacher with pride which high school I planned on attending in the future and somewhere in her response, I found out that it was a sausage factory. I remember looking at my mom in disbelief. If I had known it was an all boys school, I would've never let her convince me that I wanted to go there. I haven't even kissed a girl by that time but I liked them. They were pretty, and I loved how their knee high dress socks cupped their calves (I was a leg man back then because I heard the phrase on Seinfeld), and I showed my affection to every girl I had a crush on by stealing their pencil cases, poking them and tripping them if they walked too close to me.
Fast forward! I did my 4 year bid at the sausage fest, and, looking back on it, it was probably one of the worst decisions my parents made for me. I have nothing to compare it to because I only attended one high school but, for many reasons, I believe I would've been better off in a coed environment. Here's three reasons why:
1 - DISCIPLINE/FOCUS
One of the main selling points of all boys schools is the removal of distractions caused by hormones, puberty, and the opposing sexes under one roof. It's supposed to help the young men focus on academics and strengthen their discipline. I did extremely well in school, but not because I worked hard or had next-level focus and discipline. In fact, I cut every corner and took every shortcut I possibly could. I always waited till the last minute to do my work, never entertained that summer reading list, and always opted for spark notes over reading the actual book. All of these bad habits followed me to college (and bit my in the ass too), but my point is that the removal of girls did not keep me focused, and it doesn't keep the boys any more focused than normal. Kids will always find something to distract and steer themselves off course. In one world, it may be girls that derails a boys pursuits; in another it may be drugs. For some it can the streets or porn. The list goes on and on. Boys that are looking for a distraction will find it in one form or another.
2 - MOTIVATION
As I got older, I realized that almost everything I did to better myself in one way or another was motivated by the pursuit of girls! Early in high school, I tried to hit the weights. I never got bullied in school, and didn't have many issues with people so fear and revenge wasn't a catalyst. Weightlifting also wasn't a fun workout in my eyes. Frankly, it was boring compared to playing basketball. My very short and scattered weightlifting phases were spurred by the desire to get bigger and look more attractive to the very few girls I met outside of school, but as a result of my limited encounters the motivation wasn't consistent. Who knows how dedicated I might've been to my physique and general fitness if I had that daily motivation that boys in coed schools have available to them.
In college, I was majored in English with a creative writing emphasis. During my Junior and Senior years, I pushed myself to write to everyday and even boasted to the other female classmates about trying to write my own books. I read a lot of the classics works of fiction by the likes of James Joyce and Ernest Hemingway and made sure they knew. I wanted to seem smart and stand out from the rest of the writers any way I could. All of this was an attempt to hopefully impress and attract the girls I had my eye on. It never worked but in the process, I did motivate myself, in spurts, to put in the extra effort and improve a skill. At that time of my life, that's the only motivation I could really see. It may be a very shallow way of thinking for some, but everyone needs to find a way to motivate themselves.
3 - SOCIAL EXPERIENCE
The last and most obvious reason is social experience. High school years are very formative and we begin to learn how to navigate in different crowds and how to adapt to different personalities and situations. One thing I lacked in my teens for one reason or another was how to go from talking to a girl to touching and kissing. It seems so simple when you're older (or more experienced) but before your first time(s) it's like solving a rubix cube. There's a good chance that my learning process of how to get from Point A to Point B with a member of the opposite sex could've been shortened (by years) if there were girls in my high school because I would've had no choice but figure out how to jump that hurdle on the fly. Since, I didn't make that jump in high school, my social and personal development was stunted in college and I didn't get to experience what you see in those crazy college movies.
I have to remind you that this is just my perception based off of my experiences, and I must say that all three reasons could have been null and void for me if I didn't have to deal with certain problems and obstacles outside of school. With that being said, if I am ever fortunate enough to have a son, this wouldn't even be discussion. He's going to a coed school!
