In this post, we will be exploring how men are treated in society when they are victims of sexual assault and domestic violence, particularly if the abuse comes from a woman.
I don’t think that society generally has an issue with sympathizing with male victims by other men although; call me crazy, they are prone to being unfairly ridiculed by society as spineless or cowardly because that happened to them. I will say however that those particular incidences (Male victims of Male Perpetrator) are more considered than Male victims of Female Perpetrators.
I have known several male friends who were victims of sexual assault/domestic by female perpetrators and have heard personally their accounts however these accounts are more or less invisible from the mainstream media. Even better, when the man comes forward with his account, he is belittled and dismissed and/or the woman is painted as the victim. Society expects that because a man is generally stronger physically that he is supposed to endure the abuse. We often dismiss men when they make claims about physical abuse or rape or say that they are incapable of being abused by someone who is physically smaller/weaker than they are.
Generally, the abuse from female perpetrators is different from a man. The abuse is often more emotional. Men will tolerate the abuse for years for the same reasons that women stay with abusive partners. The men are made to feel worthless, undesirable and unwanted with no hope of finding a better life.
Finding domestic abuse shelters that are willing to accept men are next to impossible and the man is often forced to leave their children in the hands of the abuser. The idea that telling a male victim to “man up” is so ingrained in society that I have known grown men to ask their male (and female) friends for help only to be dismissed, being told things such as, “go watch porn, you’ll get over it”.
Men in our society have been reduced to the role of husk who’s only purpose in life is sex. This is such a reckless and dangerous way of thinking that could possible be linked to the high rate of suicide for men and boys.
So I offer this plea to anyone who finds Male Victims of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence (whether its Male-on-Male abuse or Female-on-Male abuse) unimportant funny. Please rethink this issue. Do the research and talk to people. If you are a victim and you can muster up the courage to speak out, please speak out.