Your conscious/subconscious perception of who you are will determine your actions and how you move to get what you want in life. If you think that your reach is limited and you’re mostly helpless in the face of so many difficulties, that it’s best you keep your ambitions low so as not to rock the boat as a result of deep fears you have of confronting people and a sick anticipation of their reactions to you, then you will receive the little that you expect. If you constantly move with the perceived magnifying glass of people’s opinion over your actions as it relates to your goals in life, believe me you won’t get very far. Knowing this, you must have a firm belief in yourself, aim high and believe that you are destined for something great. Your sense of self-worth comes from you alone, never the opinions of others. Knowing your abilities will increase your confidence in yourself. If you pay close attention to society, you will notice that people only follow those who know where they are going, and they respect those who go for what they want with absolute confidence. It’s imperative that you build around yourself an air of boldness and certainty.
One of the main reasons why most people don’t usually end up doing what they really want to do and sometimes don’t ever start at all is because they care too much about what people think of them. People are so concerned about their reputations and the outcome of things that they go as far as including the thoughts and validation of others in their line of thought before taking action or more like taking into account the perception of others regarding their action. Life is too short to worry about other people criticising and overanalysing you (whether constructive or destructive). Do what you really want; if it will and it does feel comfortable with and good for you, and also if it makes you happy. If you feel it’s the right thing to do, it gives you satisfaction, leaves you feeling good inside, puts a smile on your face, and gets you closer to your life’s goals.
Let’s say for example You see that girl/guy you really like and you’re about to walk up to them to start a conversation but then you worry about what people around might think and say if it goes south and you get rejected. You have a new activity in mind that you like to take up but you’re overly concerned with people’s perception of it and how it would look as it may not be something common, afraid that you would get ostracized. You have friends who constantly takes advantage of and disrespect you, you feel the strong urge every time to speak your mind and put a stop to it but deep inside you’re afraid of offending them as you unsure of what their reaction may be. I understand that there is the deep part of ourselves that seeks validation from others because we think the opinion of others about us will either boost out self-esteem or not, will either build our reputation positively or not, or will determine how they relate to us and perceive us in their mind. I’m not saying be an asshole and be completely inconsiderate of other people’s feelings, but when it comes to taking action and doing what will benefit you later, with all certainty go ahead, take action and don’t give two f**ks what anyone thinks about you because regardless of what they think or say you will be the one to reap the rewards in the long run or the regrets if you let it slow you down.
Ask yourself this; how often has the opinions of others put food on your table, money in your bank account, gotten you the girl of your dreams…or girls (if you love them plenty)? How well has considering the unstable fleeting opinions of others turned out for you in the past? I’d leave that for you to answer. Constantly worrying about what others think about you and your pursuits makes you play it safe, and hardly get anything done. It’s like running with a metal ball and chain strapped to your ankle. Now that my friend is disaster calling.
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Take a look at the most successful people in the world. The Billionaire businessmen, the actors, the visionaries, artist, the inventors, your favourite world leaders e.g. the kremlin Lord and the blonde real estate mogul with a trumpet. These guys are people who take pride in their actions and decisions. They don’t look like folk who give a flying banana what anyone thinks or says regarding their actions and they don’t move with the plaguing thoughts of people’s criticism in mind. I’m pretty sure if they did and just played it safe they wouldn’t be where they are today. You my friend can live the life of your dreams if you focus solely on what you want. Go ahead, take up that hobby you love so much, get that dream job you desire, approach that girl you like so much and move things forward(unless you fancy having blue balls), start your own business. Be that person you truly want to be. Because in the end it’s you who WINS or loses.
People who don’t understand may resent you at first, but what do you care? Let them whisper in the corners. You’re going to succeed and when you do some of them will secretly envy you, some out of amazement will say “aha! His theory has proven it’s salt”, and a lot of them will just sit back wishing they were like you, praying to God to boost their willpower and give them balls as large shiny and ironclad as yours.
The choice is yours. Decide what you want, who you’re going to be and how you’re going to do it. You are the master of your life. Take action and go for what you truly want with the utmost confidence because you’re not like those timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Carpe diem
